Here in America

NOOMA

2007-07-24T08:21:00.000-05:00

NOOMA sent out an email about their most recent video the other day. Apparently for the next two days it is being premiered on their myspace page for free until Wednesday. Check it out!!!

www.myspace.com/NOOMAmyspace

In other news, Lindsey's coming today! Woo hoo!!!!

-dave

work

2007-07-21T15:29:00.000-05:00

I officially have one more day of stripping (rooms) at the AmericInn in Orr, Minnesota.

cause for celebration

2007-07-18T14:44:00.000-05:00

I want to share joyful news. In the midst of the difficult circumstances in my family right now, we had some pretty good news yesterday, even if it seems kind of small. Maggie has had extreme difficulty in having a reasonable hemoglobin level (just so you know, I have no idea what this is). Whatever it is, it means that if it's too low (which it has been in a serious way for far too long now), she has to go to a hospital and sit there for 3-6 hours while she has a blood transfusion. The doctor said yesterday that for the first time in what seems like forever, she didnt' have to have one. Her hemoglobin was finally going up some and she could just go straight home after radiation!!!

We've received so much bad news over the last 5-6 months that something small like this was like a cool breeze all of the sudden blowing across your face when the weather outside has felt like 110 degrees.

Praise God!

posting eh?

2007-07-14T15:23:00.000-05:00

So I decided to blog because someone told me I wasn't. Is that a good reason?

So since I'm typing without a purpose, I'll keep it purposefully short.

It's summer and I've been at Nett Lake for almost two months. I am not sure I could adequately describe everything that has gone on since I've been here. At the core of all of it though, is that my sister Maggie is very sick and has been since December. Her cancer has not responded to any of the treatments thus far and it continues to grow. It has been a confusing and difficult to carry on with life while my sister remains so ill. There are so many emotions that come with this that I just don't know how to describe them. And I can't imagine what she's feeling. I'm so proud of my family for how they've come together to do everything they can during this time. Please pray for Maggie and our family.

I'm getting married in December and I'm getting so excited. My fiance, Lindsey, is an amazing blessing. God has really shown His goodness through this relationship with the way He has healed so many wounds and unified us in so many ways I never though possible. It is a miracle that I do not understand. I get to see her for the first time in two months on July 24th.

It has been so awesome this summer to spend time with my little brother. Hanging out with him all summer has been a monumental blessing. The reservation is admittedly boring so we have to be slightly creative. And, since we're either not creative or indifferent to the activity itself (I admit to the former), we end up playing baseball outside or video games inside :). He's an amazing guy and can absolutely school me in baseball.

I miss my friends, but I am painfully slowly gaining confidence that God really is here(wherever I am) and I can lean on Him.

I'm reading C.S. Lewis' Four Loves right now. If anyone is finding themselves having real difficulty understanding "love" and how we've treated it, or if anyone is just looking for a good read, I would recommend this. I'm only half way through it.

Well, I don't know if this was actually short. My fiance would confirm that I am indeed never short of words, and it's becoming clear that they sometimes get in the way. I hope that isn't the case here.

I miss you all! Have an awesome day!!!!

-dave

waterdeep! DCB! noisetrade!!

2007-06-20T18:15:00.000-05:00

1. New album!!!! There are two songs posted on myspace and I guess once they get some website glitches worked out, the music will be ready for purchase! I really liked "Diana" a lot. I thought it fit Lori's voice really well. Beautiful!

http://www.myspace.com/waterdeepmusic

2. Does anyone know when DCB's album is being released?

3. Also, check this out...I saw it on Derek Webb's page. Sounds really really cool.

http://noisetrade.com/index.aspx

trendy

2007-06-15T15:22:00.000-05:00

I'm posting! It's only because Jeff's posting and his blog was really encouraging to me.

http://tackyjacket.blogspot.com/2007/06/so-we-saw-this-guy.html

Trends are neat. I think I started a blog because it was trendy(I'm so vain and I probably thought this blog was about me) <-----------name that song!!!. I've read books written by Christians because I thought they'd make me look cooler or satisfy me in some twisted way.

I've thought about this too, but couldn't articulate it nearly as well as my blonde haired groom-to-be did. During this season (I heard Rob Bell call it that and it sounded good) of my life, God keeps repeating the lesson that my need is to come to Him and to be with Him. As my vision can be blurry to the ways He is working, He is teaching me that through Him, I can begin to embrace the good things around me including the trendy (or not) and praise Him for them. In times of difficulty, this seems like it is incredibly crucial. Reminders of His goodness have been really important to me. David Crowder's book "Praise Habit," which I read over winter break, was all about this, though I guess it wasn't time for me to really start looking at it and living it...I can't really remember.

Anyway, the last couple months, I've found that going into the world to look at just some of His good works, recognizing them as His, and then praising Him for it, has opened up a whole new view of how present God is in our lives and how wise He is.

So putting my money where my mouth is, if I had to mention a few of the good things about today, they would be the amazing job that God provided on short notice for this summer (my job title is "stripper" and it has nothing to do with paint...any guesses?), the beautiful weather during June in Minnesota, the fact that I'm engaged to the most incredible woman in the world and the fact that my amazing, beautiful older sister Maggie's birthday is today.

Woo hoo! It's minnesota's beautiful weather (it's like 70 here)!

look at the sun....shine

and Scott's dog

-dave

p.s.

2007-05-16T11:42:00.001-05:00

did i mention God is good?

He is.

Red Umbrella and a ring

2007-05-16T11:37:00.000-05:00

Linds surprised me two saturdays ago and took me to a red umbrella concert up in Chicago.

It was the best concert I've ever been to...no joke. They were awesome.

They're playing on June 2nd in Lincoln. Go check them out. The music is absolutely amazing. Props to Tad for finding them out.

oh...and I'm engaged to Lindsey VanHyning

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!

If you want the full story, we would love to share it. Call or email me or whatever.

TMNT

2007-03-24T15:37:00.000-05:00

Go see Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

Seriously...right now...go. It's amazing. I loved it...especially when I saw a 5(ish) year old kid dressed up in a turtle costume at the theater.

that's all I got.

pigeon john

2007-01-16T01:44:00.000-06:00

ok so I secretely really love hip hop.

unfortunately, the "hip hop" i "love" is rarely recorded and distributed.

Ok so i don't really listen to much hip hop because I get turned off by the flashy stuff and lack of musicality.

Then a week and a half ago, i saw an article in relevant magazine. I didn't actually read the article, i just looked at the title and skimmed a few paragraphs. It was about Pigeon John.

sorry about the small picture. Title: "Pigeon John and the summertime beach party"

All I'm gonna say is that he is funny, very clever, AND incorporates musical elements that are not usually associated with hip hop, at least in my limited experience. Also Relevant gave pigeon's "spiritual content" (along with the other two categories) an "up" arrow...so it MUST be good.

and his website is AWESOME.

check it out...

p.s. it snowed in Mexico while it was almost 50 degrees in northern Minnesota.

subject to ridicule, in my opinion....

later

-dave

legos are sweet

2006-12-25T23:35:00.000-06:00

Merry Christmas!

white christmas

2006-12-23T21:21:00.000-06:00

Semester is over. I'm guaranteed a white christmas here in the north country and I'm really excited about it.

I'm starting to really appreciate the idea of a holiday- "A day free from work that one may spend at leisure, especially a day on which custom or the law dictates a halting of general business activity to commemorate or celebrate a particular event." (http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/holiday).

A day set aside to stop and remember something or someone. Last year at this time I was pretty angry at the whole idea of Christmas, because it had become such a commercialized affair. I figure since I posted my thoughts about it last year, it'd be cool to do it this year too, just to see what a year has done.

I guess this year I'm kind of feeling different. I still think consumerism is a huge problem during this season, but I'm kind of liking some of the traditions of Christmas and the idea behind Christmas itself. If it doesn't go overboard into excess and greed, i think it can be a very uplifting occasion.

I'm trying to read through the old testament and I'm currently in Numbers. I don't have any real insights on it because it's honestly my first time actually reading it and I don't understand much of it. But there is something that has been sticking out to me about the first couple books of the old testament once God leads them out of Egypt. During the whole wilderness excursion, God constantly reminds moses (who, in turn, tries to remind the tribes) that God was the one who saved them and worked miracles among them. Yet the people still forgot. In fact, even though God already proved to them multiple times that He would lead them and that He was capable of saving them, they STILL wanted to have a go at their own way. With manna appearing with the dew every morning, they still stopped trusting. They didn't stop to remember. I guess, to me, they really needed holidays so they could stop being dumb and get their head on a little straighter(is that a word?) again. So when I read about an example of sorts, I was pretty excited. I thought it was really wise of God (go figure) to have time set aside to remember passover.

And here I am in the same position all the time. I want so badly at times to have Jesus in the forefront of my thoughts all the time. I want to remember His death and resurrection and the life that I now freely live in Him...to have the scales removed from my eyes and to see His blessings all around me, hints of His Holy Spirit moving in me and around me.

But there are many times that I simply don't stop long enough to remember Christ. I mean, I'll remember Him in my "quiet time" and right before I go to bed, but I know that life in Christ means all of my life every day, every hour, God with us. So whether I acknowledge it or not, when I put my faith in Christ, I was signing on for the ever present Immanuel, 24/7--- when I'm eating, sleeping, driving, watching tv, wasting time on a computer, walking in the woods, sitting in church, reading a good fantasy book (insert shameless plug for ERAGON here), playing guitar, doing homework, hanging out with amazing people, assisting my residents, and anything else. So many times in the midst of all these things, I lose sight of His goodness. I lose sight of the miracles He has worked in my life and those around me. Circumstances lead me to believe that He left me, that He's never coming back, and that He wouldn't love me enough to see me through.

Having a day to stop and remember the things He has done for us out of love for us is so good. The Jews needed it in the wilderness, and even still couldn't all get their act together. I need it now, even though I know one day couldn't possibly focus my thoughts for a life time. I want to stop this Christmas and remember that the God of the universe, the One who created flesh, actually allowed himself to become flesh and face the limitations thereof, so that he could give us yet another view of just how much He loves us and wants to be with us, and how far He'll go to bring us back to Him.

Long story short, I'm appreciating the idea of holidays more and seeing my need for a few of them. I kind of want to make the most of this upcoming one. I'm excited for the 25th, to remember, and praise Jesus Christ and celebrate that God is with us.

Have a good night! Mexico coming sooon!!! ahhhhhhh

-dave

can't trust a ladder

2006-12-18T15:48:00.000-06:00

Check out this album...I'm really enjoying it.

Couple songs that just will NOT leave my head. these were the guys that toured with cool hand luke. Their show that we saw wasn't bad, but we couldn't understand the lyrics. I'm assuming that since it has been a year, they've taken care of that problem(if it was one for multiple shows). There's no problem with that in the album...music and lyrics are clear as a bell...and worth hearing.

It sounds like Andrew Peterson's Christmas album is also really good. I'd like to hear it.

have an awesome day!
-dave

school is over!!

2006-12-14T14:36:00.000-06:00

Finished school. woot

Reading through Exodus right now. I came across some stuff that was rather interesting.

21 "Do not mistreat an alien or oppress him, for you were aliens in Egypt.
22 "Do not take advantage of a widow or an orphan. 23 If you do and they cry out to me, I will certainly hear their cry. 24 My anger will be aroused, and I will kill you with the sword; your wives will become widows and your children fatherless.
25 "If you lend money to one of my people among you who is needy, do not be like a moneylender; charge him no interest. [a] 26 If you take your neighbor's cloak as a pledge, return it to him by sunset, 27 because his cloak is the only covering he has for his body. What else will he sleep in? When he cries out to me, I will hear, for I am compassionate.
Exodus 22:21-27

OK so... based upon this, God's a big fan of the poor and expects us to be as well. This is a point that continually comes up in Jesus' life--in his teaching and in his actions

Another point...Jews didn't keep very many clothes. If I'm reading this right, they had one set. Even if they didn't, and there's more to their wardrobe than what this passages suggests, I still was left to consider some stuff.

Ok, first off, I was upset with my closet and the general lack of consideration I have for the poor made evident by at least enough tshirts to last me a month. I mean really...

Second off, what was the "neighbor" wearing while the cloak was being loaned? Did he just hang out naked? Were people cool with that? what a weird "pledge"...

Hey in other news. found out last week that my 23 year old sister Maggie who has been living in Argentina this year, has cancer. She's in Buenos Aires and will be starting 6 months of chemotherapy today. I found out today that my mother(who traveled to see maggie on monday) and her will not be able to come back to the states until the 30th at the earliest. Please pray for Maggie and for my family during this time. Praise God as well for the many ways He is making Himself known through this situation. This situation is bringing our family together as we pray together and encourage each other. Also, my mother was already planning on flying up on Monday and had saved up over a long period of time to make the trip. A trip that was originally supposed to be sightseeing turned into a trip of necessity. Another cool thing--the insurance Maggie had through her job in Argentina is an international sort of insurance, and the world renowned Mayo clinic (located in Rochester MINNESOTA) is one of the select places in the states that Maggie can go for treatment. Furthermore, the people in Argentina have been so supportive of my family and have done so much to help my sister and mother. Amazing.

ok i guess along the same lines, right now I'm learning about prayers of faith. It's easy to throw up a prayer and in the midst of it, forget that Jesus Christ is not only our Love, our Savior, Prince of Peace and King but also Lord over everything in heaven and earth. Jesus is healing my soul and will come in the end to completely restore everything. And He is Lord over the physical world and has conquered even death. He can heal my sister if He is willing and I pray that if He is willing, as He was with the leper and the centurion, that he would.

Matthew 8
1When he came down from the mountainside, large crowds followed him. 2A man with leprosy[a] came and knelt before him and said, "Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean."
3Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. "I am willing," he said. "Be clean!" Immediately he was cured[b] of his leprosy. 4Then Jesus said to him, "See that you don't tell anyone. But go, show yourself to the priest and offer the gift Moses commanded, as a testimony to them."
5When Jesus had entered Capernaum, a centurion came to him, asking for help. 6"Lord," he said, "my servant lies at home paralyzed and in terrible suffering."
7Jesus said to him, "I will go and heal him."
8The centurion replied, "Lord, I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. But just say the word, and my servant will be healed. 9For I myself am a man under authority, with soldiers under me. I tell this one, 'Go,' and he goes; and that one, 'Come,' and he comes. I say to my servant, 'Do this,' and he does it."
10When Jesus heard this, he was astonished and said to those following him, "I tell you the truth, I have not found anyone in Israel with such great faith. 11I say to you that many will come from the east and the west, and will take their places at the feast with Abraham, Isaac and Jacob in the kingdom of heaven. 12But the subjects of the kingdom will be thrown outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth."
13Then Jesus said to the centurion, "Go! It will be done just as you believed it would." And his servant was healed at that very hour.
Matthew 8:1-13

It has been a great semester. God is good all the time and is making His love known in so many ways. This is true during any present circumstance.

have an awesome break!!!
-dave

post...

2006-12-07T23:51:00.000-06:00

I don't know if there's anyone who reads my blog and doesn't read matt and heather's, but if not, check out the last couple posts.

acoupleofpeople.blogspot.com

It's thursday night. I'm getting ready to go play wii at tj's and I'm pretty hyped up. Pretty upbeat on emotions right now. I'm pretty excited.

I feel like it's a weird place. It's deceiving because there's so much good in feeling temporarily upbeat and cheery, but it can be a terrible thing on which to rely. His truth isn't impacted in any way or changed based upon what I'm feeling today.

anyway...

Few things in my life for those whom I love but don't see or with whom I don't speak often

-School is almost over and I only have one final left.
-the mission trip to mexico is rapidly approaching.
-Eragon comes out December 15th
-I am falling in love with Indian culture (the country, India).
-God is making himself known through several broken relationships in my life that are being miraculously healed only by His grace and power. I can take no credit for it. Praise God. Make a joyful noise to the Lord. (can I stress this one enough? this one was so hugely out of human capability to fix...)
-I passed my content area test so I will be student teaching in the fall(rather than spring 08)
-God has something in store for me for my free summer and I'm excited to learn what it will be...
-I'm excited that while Indian culture celebrates some awesome festivals with a lot of awesome food and interesting traditions, we have a holiday that is set aside to remember Christ. I want to celebrate by tradition in moderation, but pray and worship without ceasing. I want to do this and learn more about what it meant for Him to be here yet to be God.

oh and I busted out drunkard's prayer by over the rhine...and it's pretty dang good.

ok i'm gonna go play wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii
-dave

blog glitch! lets try this again!!!

2006-11-27T13:01:00.000-06:00

Thanksgiving with the folks was awesome. We ate over at the church and there was a huge turnout. Afterward, I got to ride with vern---remember him? if not, he's a native american who is following Christ and has been a huge encouragement to many natives, not to mention our family---anyway, vern and I got to drive around for a while and meet some people on the rez. so cool to meet so many people that i just haven't taken the time to meet since my folks moved.

Unfortunately, I caught a bug a few days ago while in the north country, so now I'm sprawled out on my bed today in Springfield after a slightly uncomfortable day of traveling yesterday. I guess it's a good time to update.

So I've run into some good stuff recently.

First off, my sisters have been recommending Over the Rhine for probably the last 5 years. I finally gave in.

I am waiting to open "Drunkard's Prayer" once I've throughly enjoyed "Ohio."

This is truly an amazing album and I'm going to have a hard time listening to anything else for the next couple weeks. The female vocalist has an absolutely amazing voice. I've yet to really process a lot of the lyrics because I've been so caught up in the music...and I'm a huge fan of cd's that are like that. It's difficult for me to enjoy quality lyrics if they aren't accompanied by quality music. I'm finding more and more that I take albums albums seriously based upon the quality of music first, because I think that God can be glorified through quality music as well as quality lyrics. Especially in some "Christian" music, i think it's pretty clear that quality music has been lost in the shuffle. I don't know if there's necessarily a "right" way to critique msuic, it's just the way I've found myself approaching it recently.

Books that have been challenging and/or entertaining

"The Return of the Prodigal" by Henri Nouwen literally took me almost the entire semester to read, not because it was a long book, but because it was just filled with words that I needed to hear. I came into the book expecting to be challenged to receive God's grace as the prodigal son did from his father. Truly, Nouwen discusses this, but the point of his work ventures far beyond the actions of the prodigal son. The book is divided up into three different sections: the younger son, the elder son, and the father. The first section is a discussion of the younger son, how we relate to him, and the lessons we can learn from him. This was what I expected from the book. I was not expecting Nouwen to spend an equal amount of time discussing the elder son and the father.

Nouwen points out that the elder son is just as lost as the younger son, if not moreso, simply because the elder son is so caught up in sin that he may never return "home" to the joy of his father's household. The sins of pride, jealousy, envy, resentment, all cloud the elder son from understanding the blessings that have already been bestowed upon him and the grace given to him as well. As someone who has claimed to be a "Christian" for a long time, I was really challenged by Nouwen's words and related to a lot of the struggles of the elder son, who didn't physically leave his father's house, but was just as checked out as his younger brother.

Nouwen points out how ultimately, we're called to become like the Father. Once we have put our faith in the Father's unconditional love, we are called to grow up and be the same for others, showing the love the Father has shown us. The focus can no longer be constantly receiving compassion but at some point, has to be about showing the compassion to others.

I won't say anymore, just that the book really forced me to look at Jesus' parable about the prodigal son, elder son, and compassionate father in a much different way. I would recommend it to anyone who is interested in revisiting that parable.

I'm ALSO reading a book my little brother gave me this last week.

After finishing the LOTR trilogy for what seems like the tenth time in my life, I was excited to find another fantasy type book that has been hard to put down. It's kind of hard to describe. All I can say is that it's about a guy and a dragon. That should be enough to get you started, and once I got started, I couldn't put it down. If fantasy type stuff is your thing, check this out.

the music and the texts were cool, but God is awesome. I'm finding that it's really easy for me sometimes to stay caught up in the first two, when what I really need is intimacy with God. Not that the "stuff" is necessarily bad, but it isn't the point. May the recommended books/music not be a distraction in anyone's pursuit of Him above all else.

In light of that, I was recently challenged by one Dean Trune (an instrument through which the Holy Spirit challenged me at the Missionary Convention) to among other things, check out the Bible a little more.

So I'm reading the book of Genesis. I've been struck by two things so far--- the amount of marriages and "relations" between different family members (ok honestly this has just grossed me out. what were the daughters of Lot thinking?) and how faith in God was what God credited as righteousness. I'm amazed that in the midst of all the inconsistencies of human existence, God hasn't changed. If being grossed out and learning about the point of our existence is your thing, check Genesis out.

h'ok that's all I got.

have an awesome day!
-dave

football and videogames

2006-11-19T23:44:00.000-06:00

Dallas Cowboys just beat the undefeated Indianapolis Colts...

...The Dallas Cowboys won...led by Tony Romo.

THE Tony Romo...the guy I spent so much time watching over at O'Brien Stadium during EIU football seasons. I was brought back to those fall afternoons of my youth today when I watched on tv a quarterback from tiny EIU lead his NFL team past the best team in the league with arguably the best quarterback in the league, Peyton Manning.

crazy!!!!

one other thing---

WAY too much fun. TJ's LAN party explosion turned into a Wii explosion...and it was glorious. I can't imagine how crazy smash bros. will be on this system. KJ pointed out that this is the best system for social events and I would have to agree. Those controllers will make anyone look absolutely foolish....and all anyone can do is laugh about it together.

....awesome :)

good night!
-dave

computer

2006-11-12T17:33:00.000-06:00

So I started shopping for a computer last week and I was completely overwhelmed. I've tried to educate myself at least a little bit on this whole thing and I'm still at a loss. I don't really have a passion for computers or the internet...so the computer I end up purchasing will not have to jump through flaming hoops and wrestle a bull.

Help? I'm looking for a fast, affordable, reliable computer that has a word processor and can get me on the internet.

It's really quite simple, why does it have to get so complicated?
(note the irony after the previous post....thanks matt. I appreciated the message in your comment.)

yeah yeah the vikings lost...at least the cardinals won the world series :)

-dave

priesthood part one...maybe?

2006-11-10T13:23:00.000-06:00

Quick...something. I'm still processing this so i thought i'd throw it out here.

So last night in a Bible study w/ West Side CC, we were talking about priesthood. We focused on Numbers 18, Leviticus 4 & 16, and about 1 Peter 2.

Numbers 18 talks about God choosing the Levites for the priesthood--

Numbers 18:1-7
Duties of Priests and Levites 1 The LORD said to Aaron, "You, your sons and your father's family are to bear the responsibility for offenses against the sanctuary, and you and your sons alone are to bear the responsibility for offenses against the priesthood. 2 Bring your fellow Levites from your ancestral tribe to join you and assist you when you and your sons minister before the Tent of the Testimony. 3 They are to be responsible to you and are to perform all the duties of the Tent, but they must not go near the furnishings of the sanctuary or the altar, or both they and you will die. 4 They are to join you and be responsible for the care of the Tent of Meeting—all the work at the Tent—and no one else may come near where you are.
5 "You are to be responsible for the care of the sanctuary and the altar, so that wrath will not fall on the Israelites again. 6 I myself have selected your fellow Levites from among the Israelites as a gift to you, dedicated to the LORD to do the work at the Tent of Meeting. 7 But only you and your sons may serve as priests in connection with everything at the altar and inside the curtain. I am giving you the service of the priesthood as a gift. Anyone else who comes near the sanctuary must be put to death...."

It goes on to talk about the different responsibilities of the priesthood and how much importance God placed on this.

Then, jumping over to 1 Peter:
1 Peter 2
1Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. 2Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, 3now that you have tasted that the Lord is good.
4As you come to him, the living Stone—rejected by men but chosen by God and precious to him— 5you also, like living stones, are being built into a spiritual house to be a holy priesthood, offering spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ. 6For in Scripture it says: "See, I lay a stone in Zion, a chosen and precious cornerstone, and the one who trusts in him will never be put to shame."[a] 7Now to you who believe, this stone is precious. But to those who do not believe, "The stone the builders rejected has become the capstone,[b]"[c] 8and, "A stone that causes men to stumble and a rock that makes them fall."[d] They stumble because they disobey the message—which is also what they were destined for.
9But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light. 10Once you were not a people, but now you are the people of God; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.

This led to some really great discussion about the priesthood and how it relates to us. With a Bible college graduate to guide discussion (this is SO helpful when trying to understand Old Testament anything), we started talking about how the priests of the old testament were the people "closest" to God. They were the only ones able to go inside the curtain (although they had to burn incense in front of the mercy seat in order to do so) and they were the ones who performed the rituals of sacrafice in the tabernacle.

Now, we are a priesthood as well, and we're saved. Meaning we no longer have to sacrifice animals. However, we are called to offer spiritual sacrafices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.

Do I take this seriously? I am wondering if I really understand what Peter is saying when he says that God sees us as a royal priesthood. I wonder if we really understand what responsibility goes along with this. What would change if we viewed ourselves as priests as God has viewed them (us)?

maybe more later? who knows...

cya!
(hello to those of you in Minnesota and Florida...love and miss you guys!)
-dave

Cardinals...

2006-11-06T15:14:00.000-06:00

Cardinals Apologize For Winning World Series
November 2, 2006

ST. LOUIS—Calling Friday night's victory on baseball's grandest stage "a terrible mistake," members of the St. Louis Cardinals issued a formal apology for making the playoffs, winning the World Series, and depriving baseball fans everywhere of a season featuring the kind of heartwarming, storybook ending to which they have grown accustomed in recent years.
"I'm still struggling to understand how this could have happened," said a sober Tony La Russa during a press conference following Game 5. "It seemed all but certain coming into this series that we were going to be a part of something truly special, that we would easily put the finishing touches on a magical season that inspired millions of fans around the country, but instead we somehow ended up winning."
"It's disappointing, to say the least," La Russa added. "We were rooting for the Detroit Tigers just like everyone else."
According to Cardinals players, they "tried absolutely everything" in their pursuit to earn the Tigers their first world championship since 1984, including eliminating the far more dangerous New York Mets in the NLCS, entering the series completely unrested after a grueling seven-game series, starting a rookie pitcher with five career wins in Game 1 in Detroit, and postponing Game 4 due to rain in the hopes that an off day would swing the momentum back in the Tigers' favor.
"I don't know what we could've done differently," second-baseman Ronnie Belliard said. "We gave the Tigers every opportunity to win ballgames, but when their pitchers keep making errors on simple ground balls, what are we supposed to do, pretend we forgot the rules and start running to third base?"
Desperate for a Tigers win in Game 2, the Cardinals chose to overlook the fact that starter Kenny Rogers was pitching with the aid of a foreign substance on his left hand.
"Of course we all knew it was pine tar, but it seemed like they were finally finding their rhythm… We certainly didn't want to shake their confidence, so we decided to just let it go," La Russa said. "Frankly, if the umpires didn't bring it up, we probably would've let him pitch with it the whole game."
After the final out of the World Series was recorded, the stunned Cardinals retreated to their dugout and watched with disappointed, glazed-over expressions as the Detroit Tigers—the feel-good team of the season whom everyone expected to win it all—packed up their equipment in the dugout across the diamond.
According to Albert Pujols, some teammates took the World Series victory harder than others.
"For a lot of young guys like [Anthony] Reyes and [Yadier] Molina, this was their first chance to see an exciting, inspirational, and truly deserving team win a championship," Pujols said. "Even though the outcome of this series has definitely left a bad taste in my mouth, I can handle it, because I was there in 2004 when we were able to see Red Sox beat us in the World Series. Man, what an incredible feeling that was… Just watching those guys celebrate, I really felt like I was seeing history unfold before my eyes. It was definitely my greatest baseball moment."
"I hope we have the chance to see something like that again next year," Pujols added.
Reporters and sportswriters around the nation were critical of many of La Russa's successful managerial decisions, second-guessing such effective moves as leaving staff ace Chris Carpenter in for more than five innings in Game 3, and failing to bench third-baseman Scott Rolen, who batted a team-high .421 in the series. La Russa, however, said that things would be different next year.
"I think I speak for my players, the front office, the coaching staff, and every fan in St. Louis when I say that all season long, we had just one goal: bringing a championship to the great city of Detroit," La Russa said. "And even though we failed this time around, we will be committed to achieving similar goals next season."
In the somber clubhouse following the victory, Cardinals centerfielder Jim Edmonds admitted that "the wrong team won," but said that the outcome of the 2006 World Series is "just something we're unfortunately going to have to live with."
"Nobody thought we could do this, nobody thought we could stop this powerhouse team that beat the odds to go from worst to first and rolled through the playoffs looking like they were invincible," Edmonds said. "And we thought we had taken every possible step to prove them right."
"We shocked the world," Edmonds added. "We're sorry."

-the onion (thanks kj for showing me this...)

:)
-dave

boo!

2006-10-31T23:02:00.000-06:00

So it's halloween...boo

Not really much of a fan of scary movies, costumes, or anything else that is supposed to freak me out. I don't know...just never appealed to me. I used to feel like a sissy but now I feel kind of like the last thing I want to see is more reminders of death and horror. Don't we have enough? Do we need to continue to try to keep pushing for ways to excite ourselves?
ok i'm off of my soapbox. some people like getting their kicks from scary movies, i'm clearly too attached to the money machine (also known as professional sports) so i guess I don't have too much room to talk.

Ok so I guess I'm always late on everything, but I would really recommend "B Collision" by David Crowder Band. It's short, but very well done. I really enjoy just how simple and laid back it is. It was perfect for my fall afternoon drives home from observation at Sacred Heart Griffin High School last week.

I've really been thinking about rest lately. Seems simple I suppose. I'm seeing that if I don't take the time to stop, I don't really give myself much of an opportunity to regain perspective. I kind of hit on it in the twoguysinavan.blogspot post that we finished on. God's totally using what He taught me this summer and seems to be building on it. This idea of resting--taking time to be ok and not try to prove anything. We were really really busy this summer, but in a different way than I am now. I'm still learning about this adjustment and living in the every day monotony. In the midst of this, its easy for me to forget that I need to stop and breathe, rehearse what I know, and let go of what I can't figure out and just pray that God knows what He's up to....and then maybe read Lord of the Rings :)

Now that I'm at school, rest has been a little more difficult. The day to day stuff isn't nearly as exciting as driving to a different part of the country every week. Being intentional in a place where I've been for more than three years sometimes seems a lot harder than in short week-long stints. Not only being intentional with other people, but being intentional in my relationship with God. Being busy with work, school, observation, social events, intramural sports, CSF events(I want to make sure I say that none of these things are necessarily bad, but they can't be the point), sometimes gives me a distraction (or perhaps a hiding place?) from Him and limits the amount of time and energy I put into the most important relationship of my existence. . If I'm not rooted in the love and grace of Christ first, these things don't matter.

So observation is almost done, and it's easy to make the excuse that I can rest when I'm done with observation. I know it's a lie. I guess I'm just typing it here so that I have another place to rehearse it.

so i suppose I should stop typing and put my money where my mouth is?

yeah... :)

good night! hello - to those of you in distant lands! (minnesota and florida specifically) love you guys and miss you a ton.
-dave

Ecksteeeeen is Eckkkcellent

2006-10-28T12:35:00.000-05:00

TEN!

TEN CHAMPIONSHIPS!!

AH! AH! AH!

*kssshhhhhBOOOOOOM*

so it's safe to say my blog hasn't been very deep so far...seeing as I've referenced the Count more than any sciptural passage or famous authors...

...sorry to dissapoint... :)

-dave

2006-10-27T00:46:00.000-05:00

Three!....THREE CARDINALS VICTORIES!....

AH AH AH

*kssshhBOOM*

redbirds

2006-10-24T23:21:00.000-05:00

In case anyone didn't know, the St. Louis Cardinals just beat the Tigers by a score of 5-0.
Series is at 2-1 in favor of the Cardinals. Carpenter was dominant.

i hope they win soon because I'm not getting any homework done. A seven game series would be the death of me...

go cards!!!

cardinals

2006-10-24T01:21:00.000-05:00

vikings won this week...

and the cardinals are in the world series...

woot

few thoughts...

2006-10-21T12:48:00.000-05:00

going to blog a few thoughts. Don't know how often I'll do this.

So I've been thinking a lot recently about sin management. I can recall the last couple years how much of a theme it was on campus.

When I say sin management, my understanding of it (which doesn't mean it is the same as someone else's) is that it is our (the body of Christ) attempt to try to push our sin away. We try to come up with clever schemes and/or 5 bullet point lists that, in the end, will eliminate said sin from our lives.

I firmly believe that sin management, when thought of by the definition i just gave, is wrong and possibly worse and more prideful than whatever sin from which we're running. It insults the saving grace given by Christ and puts us in the driver's seat.

But I really have had a hard time understanding this whole thing.

We're saved by grace to do good works. So if we have been saved by grace, do we continue to sin? By no means! (sorry Paul...i butchered it....)

So I'm saved by grace, but I'm called to live a holy life. I'm learning that this means living, not not sinning. The former implies trusting in God's grace, looking ahead rather than dwelling on the things of the past (Phil 2).

But somewhere in there, we do have to reject sin. Somewhere in there, sin is wrong and we do want to be rid of it in our lives. It is God's saving grace that allows this to occur. Christ has given us the chance to live lives free of guilt even though we still choose to live in the death of our trespasses.

I've been thinking a lot about the word crucify. I heard it somewhere this week and just keeps sticking with me. I really needed to rehearse it yesterday and today.

Are we called not to manage sin, but maybe to crucify it? We want to live holy lives. This can only happen because of Christ. We are only being changed by His blood through the Holy Spirit. And we are called to leave our lives of sin.

Could we be called to crucify sin, completely rejecting it, and removing it at its deepest roots in our minds? there's so much junk that goes on in our minds and if we let it sink too deep, it becomes very difficult to focus back on Christ.

I'm seeing a difference between crucifying and managing, in that, while the former is looking to remove and destroy at the deepest level (our thoughts, our most basic insecurities, etc), management implies more of a shuffling and reording of priorities ("i won't kick that guy's dog this week for sure").

Where does this idea of being willing to capture our thoughts fit in with grace. I want to focus on Christ alone. My hope is in His grace. I also want to rebuke my sinful thoughts before they take on a life of their own and begin to consume my mind.

Where do these fit together?

Go Cardinals!!!!

2006-10-20T00:12:00.000-05:00

What more do I need to say?

World Series!!!!!!

Darfur...

2006-10-19T00:51:00.000-05:00

Here's an article from the New York Times about Darfur.

What a frustrating situation. Last week the Descedents of Africa showed "Sometimes in April" to raise support for the victims of the human rights abuses over in the western region of Sudan. I was so excited to see groups getting active about this issue. The movie's really good (if "good" could ever be associated with the topic of genocide). It's an attempt at covering some of what happened over in Rwanda in the early 90's. Check out the movie, check out the article.

NYTimes

By LYDIA POLGREEN

Published: October 18, 2006

IRIBA, Chad, Oct. 16 — Ibrahim Atoum Rahal said he had joined the Sudanese Army out of necessity. He had no job and no prospect of getting one, and the military offered a regular paycheck.

But when he was shipped to the front along the border with Chad to fight the rebels in Darfur a month ago, he said, his heart was not in the fight. When the rebels attacked Oct. 7, catching the soldiers as they lolled in the afternoon heat in the middle of the Ramadan fasting season, Mr. Rahal, a 26-year-old private, threw down his Kalashnikov rifle and ran.

“I have no interest in fighting this war,” Mr. Rahal said in an interview from his hospital bed in this provincial town, his right leg shattered by a rebel bullet. “I just want to go home.”

Mr. Rahal is one of about 130 Sudanese soldiers who, through an unusual series of events after a battle between non-Arab rebels resisting the Arab-led government, have ended up being both helped and held in this Chadian town a few dozen miles from the Sudanese border, given a refuge from the war but kept in prison.

Interviews with these soldiers provided a rare glimpse into the hidden world of Sudan’s secretive military, showing a corps of men who are poorly armed, unenthusiastic about their mission and more than willing to surrender rather than stand and fight.

“We don’t have the courage to defeat them,” said John Yotoma, a 38-year-old Sudanese corporal who lay shivering in a hospital tent here, bullet wounds in his arm and groin. “We didn’t have enough ammunition. We just ran away.”

For months Sudan has been building up troops in Darfur, adding thousands of men in key garrison towns, preparing for an assault on the non-Arab rebel groups that refused in May to sign an agreement to end the war.

One rebel faction signed, but others have vowed to continue fighting the government and its allied tribal militias, whose brutal counterinsurgency has been called genocide by the Bush administration and many others.

The Sudanese government has vowed to crush the remaining rebel factions, and has forcefully rejected a Security Council resolution authorizing a United Nations peacekeeping force of more than 20,000 troops and police officers in Darfur to replace an overmatched and under-equipped African Union force.

In August, Sudan made a counterproposal, saying it would use its own troops to quell the uprising. That position was quickly rejected by much of the world, and raised fears that the government was prepared to unleash a brutal assault that could rival or surpass the bloody battles that had killed at least 250,000 people, many from war-related hunger and disease, and had pushed 2.5 million from their homes.

But so far, the Sudanese Army seems to have faced mostly humiliating defeat, as it did in the Oct. 7 attack near Kariari, a village on the border. The International Crisis Group, an independent conflict-prevention organization, also says that the government has been taking major losses in the recent fighting.

It is virtually impossible for journalists to speak to soldiers inside Sudan. They are not allowed to give interviews, and foreign journalists who photograph or film them are subject to arrest on serious charges, including espionage.

Yet the Sudanese soldiers here in Iriba, safely across the border in Chad, seemed eager to tell their stories and gripe about the tough life they faced on the front, their doubts about the legitimacy of their government’s fight against the rebels in Darfur and their low morale.

They described the brutal assault by the rebels on Oct. 7 as one that caught them by surprise.

The attack began around 3 p.m. Listless from fasting for Ramadan, most soldiers were napping or busy preparing the meal that at sundown would break the ritual fast. Mr. Rahal said he was cooking some soup when he heard the first gunfire, and saw more than 100 pickup trucks with heavy weapons barreling toward the camp.

He grabbed his rifle, taking a position in a nearby trench. He fought for about 20 minutes, he said, until he emptied his gun’s magazine. The soldiers had been running low on ammunition for some time, Mr. Rahal and other soldiers said, and they had asked their commanding officer to request more munitions. But during their monthlong stint at the front, the bullets never arrived.

When Mr. Rahal found himself facing fire with an empty gun, he decided to flee.

“I just dropped it and ran away,” he said.

But he didn’t get far before he felt a stab in his right calf, then a searing bolt of pain up his thigh. He dropped to the ground and lay still, hoping no one would come to finish him off. When it seemed the coast was clear, he tried to stand up, but couldn’t.

“I had so much pain in my leg I could not walk,” he said.

So he crawled. Using his forearms, he pulled himself west, toward the border. Just before dark he was picked up by some Chadian soldiers, he said, who brought him to the Chadian border town of Bahai, then shipped him to the hospital in Iriba.

About 40 soldiers were taken to the hospital for treatment, and 90 more were taken to the local jail, where they were placed in a guarded courtyard. Their status is unclear. They have been visited by Red Cross officials, but they are not prisoners of war or illegal migrants. Unsure of their fate, they while away their days in prison playing cards and talking.

“Can’t you see how bored we are?” said Moussa Mahmoud Yassin, a 42-year-old soldier from Khartoum, the Sudanese capital. “We have nothing to do.”

Like most of the soldiers here, he said he did not intend to go back to the military, and thought the war in Darfur was pointless.

“We all just want to go home to our families,” he said.

The battle was a rout for the rebels, the soldiers here said, with the Sudanese Army taking heavy casualties. No one had time to count the bodies, but of the 750 Sudanese troops that were attacked, as many as half were killed, according to Sudanese soldiers here.

The attitudes and general despondence of the Sudanese troops held here underscores why Sudan, despite its large military, well supplied by arms bought from China with Sudan’s growing oil wealth, has relied primarily on brutal Arab militias to carry out its grim counterinsurgency campaign against the rebels in Darfur.

It was a strategy Sudan perfected in its 20-year civil war in the south, where it used Arab tribal militias as a paramilitary force. The militias terrorized southern Sudan, razing villages, raping women and kidnapping children. The militias in Darfur, known as the janjaweed, have carried out a similar campaign.

Many of the Sudanese soldiers said they hoped that the United Nations would send a peacekeeping force to Darfur soon, contradicting their government’s staunch position against such a force, arguing that any foreign troops would be seen as occupiers bent on re-colonizing Sudan.

“We wish the U.N. would come and take over,” said Waleed Mugammed, a 23-year-old private from Khartoum. “I don’t want to go back to Darfur.”

-----------------------------

I thought it was interesting...

cya!
-dave

rrhem

2006-10-15T22:54:00.000-05:00

Hey guys

Kinda missed this.

Here's an album that I'm completely stuck on right now. check it out.

http://www.redumbrella.net/index.php

that's all I got.

good night
-dave

my summer...

2006-05-17T15:33:00.001-05:00

check it out...it has all you need to know :)

http://twoguysinavan.blogspot.com/

farewell Maggie, Herschel, whatever else!!

2006-03-28T19:33:00.000-06:00

couple things--

-Relay for Life is on Friday. If you don't have a team and want to take part, hit this link.

-Herschel's done. i just wanted to say thank you to him for being so willing to share his thoughts so openly. They were both challenging and encouraging.

- my sister is leaving for Argentina in like a day or so. It just seems so normal to me. It always feels like one of us is moving around. I'm really ok with it i think. I don't care so much about where I'm living or where anyone else in my family is living. As long as we are focused on Him, it doesn't matter how far apart we are.

I'm more excited for her than anything else because i know she has wanted to go back. so yes, Maggie, enjoy the trip and i will definitely be praying for you.

-I don't think i'll be using this thing much. Herschel's last blog hit me hard. I've been thinking about this blog for a couple months now and I haven't been sure of its purpose in my life. I haven't really used it as a means for communicating with my parents like i said i would. I don't keep in touch with long lost friends through this (not consistently). More importantly, for a long time now I've felt like my faith has been so wrapped up in words that I've lost focus on actions. I feel like I need to shut up a little bit.

So yeah. I feel awkward right now. Even though I shouldn't be, I would be lying if i said that i don't care about what other people think of me. To me, this looks like a bandwagon thing-- Like I'm leaving because Herschel is. Well, in part, that's true. His ability to let go of what seemed like a good thing really hit me hard. But the second sentence of this paragraph seems to sum up why i think I need to put this down. I'm more concerned with how I sound than with the truth. I am so self-conscious when it comes to what others think of what I'm saying. I don't think my focus has been on encouraging others or getting my thoughts down as much as it has been with "getting it right."

I think i need less confidence in what other people think of me, more in Him. Less focus on getting it to look or sound right and refined, more focus on letting Him use my clumsy brokenness. More focus on getting to know Him, less on talking about Him.

"Jesus said to Pilate, 'are you speaking for yourself, or from what others told you?'"

I dunno if this is a break or what. just don't expect too much.

love you guys. i see most of you on a daily basis anyway so it's not a big deal. For those of you who don't, shoot an email. I'm more than willing to talk one on one.

have an awesome day!!
-dave

read this

2006-03-22T09:21:00.000-06:00

March 22, 2006
Darfur Attacks Overwhelm Peace Force, U.N. Reports
By WARREN HOGE
UNITED NATIONS, March 21 — The United Nations special envoy to Sudan said Tuesday that violence was rising in Darfur and that lack of progress in the south was jeopardizing a peace agreement that ended a separate conflict there.
The official, Jan Pronk, told the Security Council that killings, rapes and armed attacks on Darfur villagers were committed by armed gangs secure in the knowledge that no one would stop or punish them.
"In South Darfur, militia continue to cleanse village after village," he said. "The government has not disarmed them. On the contrary, African Union commanders on the ground openly speak about continued support to militia by forces allied to the government."
In what the United Nations calls the greatest humanitarian crisis and the Bush administration has labeled genocide, more than 200,000 people in Darfur have been killed and up to 2 million black villagers driven from their homes by Arab militias.
Mr. Pronk called on the international community to augment and assist the 7,000 African Union troops now in Sudan and not wait until the force is reorganized later this year as a United Nations force.
The African Union agreed this month to turn its peacekeeping mission in Darfur over to the United Nations in the fall.
John R. Bolton, the American ambassador, told reporters that the United States would soon be circulating a Security Council resolution to help provide a smooth transition and broaden the mission.
Sudan has said it will not accept United Nations troops until a Darfur peace agreement is struck in talks now going on in Abuja, the Nigerian capital.
In the meantime, Mr. Pronk said, the African Union force needs help with items like helicopters and technology that only wealthier nations can supply. "You need technology to see where military groups are assembling themselves in order to attack villages," he said.
Mr. Pronk said people in Sudan were confused about the United Nations and were subjected to propaganda campaigns claiming that the organization would challenge the nation's sovereignty.
"Groups on the ground put pressure on the government to resist what they call 'recolonization,' " he said. "In 2006 it's a hot topic because it is 50 years ago that Sudan became an independent country. People expressed genuine fear of the Iraq scenario being repeated in Sudan."
He said he sought to reassure them that the United Nations was acting in their interest. "I tell them it is Sudan plus 200 other countries," he said, "not 200 other countries against Sudan."
Mr. Pronk urged the Council not to borrow troops for Darfur from the existing peacekeeping mission in southern Sudan, where a peace agreement 14 months ago ended 20 years of civil war. "Cannibalization of any forces from southern Sudan would be tantamount to sending the watchman home in the afternoon," he said.
Security was deteriorating in the South, he said, and reconstruction and development were lagging dangerously. "If not addressed," he said, "people will ask what difference peace has made for them."

from the New York Times on March 22, 2006

This is happening right now.

why haven't I cared more about this?

I don't believe it's hopeless and I do believe my personal concern for a situation of this magnitude is important. If I can do nothing else for this situation in my life time, I hope I can spark conversation about it.

can we please talk about this? Can we please challenge each other to at least recognize that it is happening? Ironically, I don't mean so much on blogger (although i suppose it can't hurt), I'm talking about in every day life. I mean, I'm more than willing to engage in discussions over the war on terror and the digital revolution. How is Africa any different?

It's real, it's happening, and my actions are showing that I could care less.

"I truly believe that when the history books are written, our age will be remembered for three things: the war on terror, the digital revolution, and what we did—or did not to—to put the fire out in Africa. History, like God, is watching what we do."
-Bono

thoughts? feel free to post them on here or anywhere else, but maybe it'd be good to bring it up in circles that don't meet on the internet. I'll try to do the same.

cya guys. enjoy the clear sky and amazing sunshine today :)
-dave

tis the season to be FREAKING OUT

2006-03-18T10:09:00.000-06:00

fa la la la laaaaaa

la la la la

GOLF!!!!!

It's time, my friends. The sun is shining. The grass is getting greener every day. The birds are chirping...

And I am getting ready to go play my third round of golf this season. It's still a little early and i'm not sure that the season has technically started...but it's good enough for me. I played last friday and I was pleasantly surprised to find my swing more in tact than it has been since my days on the high school golf team. It's not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, but it actually has potential. I haven't been able to say that for a long time now. What's even cooler is that I've had a hitch in my putting stroke for a year now and I think I finally got it worked out.

One other good thing---My wallet isn't actually hurting too much over my addiction to this amazing game. Springfield actually has several really cheap courses to choose from. I can actually afford to play golf if i'm willing to eat ramen or something for a meal.

woot

Oh and I got to play tennis yesterday as well. I'm freaking out right now!

Oh and the mission trip was sweet

Oh and the Cardinals are going to be playing soon.

i love spring :)

this is all too much.

have a good one guys
-dave

soon!

2006-03-08T16:00:00.000-06:00

so wow...

leaving for minnesota in three days. That certainly came up quick. :)

I'm really excited that a team is coming for spring break. Because they're so far away, my folks don't get to know much about my life other than from what i put on here or tell them. I'm so excited that I can spend time with my family and my closest friends all at the same time. There are more than a few people making the trip who have had major impacts on my life. I can't explain that stuff to my parents. I want to, but i just don't know how. People are all so different and God uses us in so many different ways that there is no way i could sit down and simply spell it out for them--- "well, this guy did this and she did this..."

But actually introducing my friends to my family and letting them see for themselves the way Christ shines through so many people on this campus...that is how i can try to share the last three years of my life with my parents. There has been so much.

I think it's really hard to try to explain how much I've felt like i've changed since the last night in Charleston. I remember sleeping in an empty house. The family was going to move me into school and then they were headed up to Minnesota. I don't even know what to think of that night anymore. I didn't have some big break down or think about anything in particular. I just remember sleeping in an empty house.

so much has changed since then.

God is so good and so faithful. I don't feel it every day and there are many times that I just don't want to believe it. But whenever I actually stop and look at the David Lasley sleeping in an empty house in Charleston, Illinois and the David Lasley living in Marigold 1 in Springfield, Illinois, I am reminded that He is faithful and fiercely in love with me. I would be lying to say I haven't changed. I have.

And it is because He has changed me.

It started with Him humbling Himself because I won't and doing what it took to give me a shot at this. It's still about that grace. I'm still learning...well, sometimes I think I am. Sometimes I'm not so sure I am.

I don't think i really live as though I'm convinced of that grace, but every now and then it hits me that this is amazing and maybe I really don't deserve this. I know that when my parents really get to spend some time with my friends, they will not only see a bunch of really cool people, but they will see real Love.

I can't take the credit for this. It just wouldn't be right.

have a good one guys :)
-dave

my one good thing

2006-03-06T00:36:00.000-06:00

"and i'm trying to make you sing
from inside where you believe
like it's something that you need
like it means everything
and i'm trying to make you feel
that this is for real
that life is happening
that it means everything
i'm just tryin' to make you sing"
-dcb

"Then Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life. He who comes to me will never go hungry, and he who believes in me will never be thirsty. But as I told you, you have seen me and still you do not believe. All that the Father gives me will come to me, and whoever comes to me I will never drive away. For I have come down from heaven not to do my will but to do the will of him who sent me. And this is the will of him who sent me--that I shall lose none of all that he has given me, but raise them up at the last day. For my Father's will is that everyone who looks to the Son and believes in Him shall have eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day."

something...

2006-03-04T01:12:00.000-06:00

few things...

-So this is for anyone living in or around springfield...
American Cancer Society's Relay for Life on March 31st at 6 p.m. until April 1st 6 a.m. Join the team!!!

-something else---Mission trip to...my house...(it feels really weird to say that) is rapidly approaching. Getting excited about it. For those who feel so led, prayer would definitely be cool. Unity in love and in purpose (as a friend of mine suggested) i think is kind of where hopefully our hearts are for this trip.

-Celebration dinner was tonight and it was a lot of fun. My grandma came down which was quite awesome. I love the time i get to spend with her. we talked about a lot of stuff. We talked about my favorite restaurant in Gibson City---a chinese food place. Apparently the chinese place (the best chinese food i've EVER eaten) just opened up a buffet. woot.

Don't really have much else to say. This was pretty cool to read the other day in my devo time---

"Reckless confidence for me is the unshakable conviction that Jesus and the Father love me in a way that defies imagination. It means to accept without reservation all that the Abba of Jesus has ordained for my life, to have the attitude of Jesus when he prayed in the Garden, 'Not my will but yours be done,' to make my own the prayer of Dag Hammarskjold, 'For all that has been, thanks. For all that shall be, yes.'
Perhaps the only honest measure of the recklessness of my confidence is my readiness for martyrdom. Not only my willingness to die for him and the sake of the gospel, but to live for him one day at a time."
-Brennan Manning

"reckless confidence"---
....i want this....

you guys are awesome. have a great night
-dave

a few meaningful distractions...

2006-02-26T22:25:00.000-06:00

So I'm hooked.

Everyone went crazy about those nooma videos and i like completely missed the boat on them. Thank goodness CSF used some of them last year. As many may know, Rob Bell did those videos and also wrote a pretty darn good book entitled "Velvet Elvis." He is also the pastor of Mars Hill Church in Michigan. I've heard some of his sermons at my sunday school type class at church, but not very many. The one's i've heard have really challenged me.

So a friend of mine informed me that Mars Hill Church's website has their sermons available online every week. Dude, I can listen to Rob Bell any time I want...

...lol and i definitely have been. It has been good except for the one time when I actually took the time to do some homework for my Technology for Teaching 3hundredwhatever class. I was building a website and listening to one of Bell's messages and my computer decided to freeze. I lost over an hour's worth of good hard work on the website. sad...

ok the website thing isn't a big deal. But the messages are pretty amazing. If nothing else, it's a good substitute for tv time. they're at least 3000000000000000000000000000 times better than most of the crap that's on tv.

check this one out if you get the chance. It's over one of my favorite passages in the Bible--Psalm 77.

In other news, Ed Wojcicki came and spoke at the edge last friday and introduced an amazing author to me. Henri Nouwen is his name and writing amazing books is his game (yeah it was cheesy...deal with it). I'm currently in The Wounded Healer and am really enjoying it. It's always nice to find new authors (well...new to me anyway). I've mostly been reading stuff by C.S. Lewis and Brennan Manning lately and have really been challenged by them. However, I think sometimes I like to get really set in my ways and think that Lewis and Manning are the only two authors who can write something worth while. I was reading Nouwen's book and all of the sudden I was like "whoa...i can't even imagine how many other good books there are to read from people who have been changed by God through Christ." I got pretty excited and then overwhelmed because i wanted to read all of them. After that, my head felt like it was going to explode and i knew i needed to avoid amazon.com for a few days.

so yeah good book.

There's another one too but i'm not gonna talk about it until it gets here and i've read it.

yeah that's right i couldn't avoid amazon.com forever. I'm foolish and weak. :)

have an awesome night guys...and gals....
-dave

sing

2006-02-25T14:29:00.000-06:00

I can't get this song out of my head.

"Sing"

I love the way, the way you carry on
You make me wanna say, you make me wanna sing another love song

Sing another love song, sing another love song
Sing another love song to you

Bury my head for the shame, you pick me up, you say I look like you

Though it makes no sense to me, you make me believe that I could trust someone

I could ever trust someone, I could ever trust someone
I could ever trust someone, I could ever trust someone

Through flame, I touch the fire, you know that I still burn for you
Flood water rain crash down, soak the ground, still I thirst for you
Still I thirst for you

Sing another love song, sing another love song
Though it makes no sense to me, it makes me want to sing
-Jars of Clay

"you make me believe that I can trust someone"

have an amazing day
-dave

the groundhog is a liar

2006-02-22T14:06:00.000-06:00

Does anyone else know this feeling where you want to laugh, shake your head and just say "wow"? -- When you all of the sudden are challenged and you see that you've missed the point on something?

It's certainly not a bad thing...i guess it's just a matter of what I do after the fact.

yeah that's pretty much it for now.
have a spectacular day! It's GORGEOUS outside. I want to golf soooo bad. Any takers?
-dave

what now?

2006-02-20T11:14:00.000-06:00

Went on the winter retreat this weekend. It was really good. In some ways, I felt like this was a weekend of reinforcement for a lot of stuff I had been thinking about already. But I was also hit by a lot of new stuff to consider.

Mark Nelson was an amazing speaker. I was joking with some people about how I wanted to grab onto the end of his shirt and just follow him around for a couple weeks. Obviously i was joking(or was i?), but he really was one of the best communicaters I've ever heard.

The worship team from Champaign(it was champaign right?) did a great job. I did not come to the retreat strictly to learn about worship but i figured it would be another great opportunity to see how other teams are doing it. I'm still really new at all this and am loving these chances to see what other teams are doing.

So now that the retreat is over and life is back to normal, I'm seeing how easy it is to want to try to run off the energy from the weekend. I'm seeing how much of my passion from the weekend is just not the same now.

I've been talkin with a friend who has been saying how so much of our faith is an act of the will. Emotions fail us, circumstances won't always be ideal, and things change. As much as i want to run off of good feelings and awesome experiences, I can't let them be my focus. Stuff changes so quickly and if i'm not standing on a firm foundation, i might get tossed by the waves.

so what now?

the retreat is over. My emotional high from the retreat has petered out and life is still going on.

"Everything has changed
but our hope remains the same"

have an awesome night guys :)
-dave

not be changed...

2006-02-17T01:54:00.000-06:00

Those Who Trust

by Don Chaffer

Those who trust in the Lord
Are a strong mountain
They will not…not be moved

Those who trust in the Lord
Are as Mount Zion
They will not…not be moved

Christ the King, He sets my feet
On a firm foundation
They will not…not be moved

Though the world moves like mad
You alone are faithful
Jesus, you, you will not be changed

am i late or right on time?

2006-02-15T14:09:00.000-06:00

So I'm waiting to go to an interview. I wrote down the interview in my planner but didn't write the exact time. I put it in the "3 p.m." category but that doesn't necessarily mean it's at three. I keep wondering if it's at 2:30.

you would think that a planner would make this whole "organization" thing easier.

ok laugh all you want. so it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that i'm bad at planning stuff.

And when it comes to important life stuff, i'm even worse.

I wonder if God just laughs when I say I want to follow Him but then I start making plans. Ok i'm not sure if I could really understand God's sense of humour, but He probably isn't jumping for joy when I start charting a course for myself.

...when i start planning ahead and not focusing on today.

Now obviously there's a need for organization. I bought a planner the other week because I'm not capable of remembering when I have meetings, classes, work and everything else. I blew off like 4 people the weekend before I bought the planner because I didn't write stuff down. Lesson learned--it's important (at least for me) to be organized.

But I wonder why I try to guess His will in the areas I can't very well organize. I think we all know those areas. The big "future" questions that every college student hopes to understand here and now.

So here's what I think...I think I'm a fool for saying that I want to follow Him AND I want to do "this and this" or have "this and this" in my life. A couple blogs have talked about mapping stuff and all that and it kind of hit home for me in the last 24 hours. I got whacked, my plans got scrapped and certain areas of my future over which I thought I had control are now slipping like grains of sand.

These plans are distractions. They are not good. They, for me, distract from where my focus should be. My focus is here, now, living and loving. My hope is in Christ Jesus. He is the only consistent truth in my life. He is the only one who will always remain faithful. He is steady and unchanging.

When my hope strays from that, I think the rest of me goes with it. I start looking for more rather than realizing that I am offered everything I need.

"The rich in spirit devote considerable time to thinking about what they don't have; the poor to enjoying and celebrating what they do have. In the last century the atheist philosopher Friedrich Nietzsche reproached a group of Christians with words to this effect: "Yuk, you make me sick!" When their spokesman asked why, Nietzsche replied, "Because you redeemed don't look like you're redeemed!" The rich are often as downcast, guilt ridden, anxious, and dissatisfied as their unbelieving neighbors. The poor cry, "It is right to give Him thanks and praise."---
blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven -- Matthew 5:3

I guess I'm just really trying to remember that He is steady and unchanging in every situation. I don't want to keep planning stuff. I'm not sure I do a very good job of it anyway.

perfect...it's time to go to this interview :)
have an awesome day!
-dave

the crumbs are good enough

2006-02-12T22:38:00.000-06:00

A restful day...

...a needed Sabbath. Might be some really cool stuff goin on this summer but it's still in the works.

So the speaker at church today(Eddie was out for whatever reason) talked about a crazy passage in the Bible that i'd never even read before.

so here goes...

"Leaving that place, Jesus withdrew to the region of Tyre and Sidon. A canaanite woman from that vicinity came to him, crying out, "Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me! My daughter is suffering terribly from demon-possession."

Jesus did not answer a word. So his disciples came to him and urged him, "Send her away, for she keeps crying out after us."
He answered, "I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel." The Woman came and knelt before Him. "Lord, help me!" she said.

He replied, "It is not right to take the children's bread and toss it to their dogs."
"Yes Lord," she said, "but even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters' table."

Then Jesus answered, "Woman, you have great faith! Your request is granted." And her daughter was healed from that very hour.
Matthew 15:21-28

i'd never read about this before. i was blown away by the passage and the way it was presented by the speaker today. I guess this is my take on this thing. It's probably almost wholly inspired by the associate pastor at west side. admittedly a biased "take"...but that's ok.

So there's Jesus. He heads to this place to get away. Apparently it was in the same region where Elijah had spent some time getting away. So Jesus is sitting around trying to get some rest, and a lady comes to talk to him. Her daughter needs help and she asks for his help.

Jesus doesn't answer her--- "Jesus did not answer a word"

She asks the disciples and they want her to be taken away. Jesus doesn't seem cool with that but He certainly doesn't have plans of immediately doing something.

She tries again and this time it's even harder. She asks for help and He says that it "is not right to take the children's bread and toss it to their dogs." So this wouldn't have meant much if it weren't for the "children" and "dog" references. Apparently "dog" was a frequently used put-down on the gentiles by the "children"(the jews). It's almost as if He's putting her down...

But her response is AMAZING...
"Yes, Lord," she said, "but even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters' table."

She was a woman of great faith. Jesus was silent, and seemingly brutal to her, and yet she knew that He was the only one she needed.

So Jesus must have been a ridiculous teacher. Can you imagine the disciples' reaction to all this? Jesus is always talking to the disciples, about their "little faith." And here, this random lady comes running in and He shows them what "great faith" looks like. It seems like a test for her, but it's used for such a bigger purpose. He used the most obscure situation to make an amazing point about His character and what sort of faith He desires.

This hit hard. So many times I allow my emotions to dictate my faith. Insecurity, anxiety, loneliness, depression, anger, etc. seem to have significant impacts on my actions and my thought processes. So many times i've either thought and/or lived as though "great faith" was some sort of amazing feeling of ecstasy which will carry on through the rest of my life. But this lady wasn't about some mountaintop experience. Her daughter was dying. She didn't know much. All she knew was that Jesus was the only one who could help her. She was willing to sit there and not only be told, but also admit that she was a "dog." She was willing to be ignored. She was willing to admit that He was Master no matter what it meant.

What an amazing picture of real faith.

He had what she needed. Even if she could only get a crumb from the dinner table, it was better than anything else.

Another thought that i've had to consider a lot lately: Jesus did not jump to do her bidding. He was in no hurry to help. He was doing this thing on His time and in a way that must have been really uncomfortable for that woman. Honestly, Jesus' words almost seem downright mean, in my opinion. I've really had to consider one aspect of God's character lately--this whole thing is going to be done in His way. It seems so simple, but in reality it's really hard to live out sometimes. I can't just pray a prayer and think that God's in the business of always giving me what I want, right away. It might seem like life would be easier at times if He did, but then again i'm not sure i always know what's best.

This woman's faith was not based on anything except submission to and trust in her Master. Because of this, after a time, her reward was great.

I can't get out of my head how she was willing to kneel even when her one and only Lord was silent and seemingly harsh.

I desire this sort of faith in my life. One not dictated by my emotions, but instead, one rooted in an unwavering trust in His ability to be my everything.

This lady was pretty freakin amazing.

Jesus was pretty cool too ;)

have a good one guys
-dave

awfully small

2006-02-10T23:55:00.000-06:00

Well, it took the hand of God Almighty
To part the waters of the sea
But it only took one little lie
To separate you and me
Oh, we are not as strong as we think we are

And they say that one day Joshua
Made the sun stand still in the sky
But I can't even keep these thoughts of you from passing by
Oh, we are not as strong as we think we are

We are frail, we are fearfully and wonderfully made
Forged in the fires of human passion
Choking on the fumes of selfish rage
And with these our hells and our heavens
So few inches apart
We must be awfully small
And not as strong as we think we are

And the Master said their faith was
Gonna make them mountains move
But me, I tremble like a hill on a fault line
Just at the thought of how I lost you
Oh, we are not as strong as we think we are

We are frail, we are fearfully and wonderfully made
Forged in the fires of human passion
Choking on the fumes of selfish rage
And with these our hells and our heavens
So few inches apart
We must be awfully small
And not as strong as we think we are

And if you make me laugh
I know I could make you like me
'Cause when I laugh I can be a lot of fun
But we can't do that I know that it is frightening
What I don't know is why we can't hold on
We can't hold on.

It took the hand of God Almighty
To part the waters of the sea
But it only took one little lie
To separate you and me
Oh, we are not as strong as we think we are

When you love you walk on the water
Just don't stumble on the waves
We all want to go there somethin' awful
But to stand there it takes some grace
'Cause oh, we are not as strong
As we think we are

No, we are not as strong
As we think we are

"We are not as strong as we think we are"
-Rich Mullins

dear small group...

2006-02-08T15:37:00.000-06:00

So I was looking through some prayer requests from small group last week...

Prayer request from a small group member:
"that my personal passion would always exceed my public passion"

dear small group,
I love you. thank you for being awesome.

oh and you're a bunch of jerks because you just dropped a ton of bricks on my face...

*heart*
-dave

I'm kidding about them being jerks. They definitely aren't at all.

"personal passion always exceeding public passion..."

Maybe that's why I have such a hard time posting on here sometimes. It's really easy to make something sound good on here and do things in public that seem good (and could very well be good). It's not so easy to remain passionate about what I say and do sometimes.

Sometimes I feel kinda like a sophist on here with no purpose but to sound right or win an argument or to impress someone. I've written whole posts and then deleted them because they just left bad tastes in my mouth.

And it's not just limited to on my blog. This prayer request is equally as important(ok i think more so...) to life outside of the internet. I mean, I got to speak about Darfur in the Residence Hall last week after a showing of Hotel Rwanda. But I hadn't checked up on the Darfur situation more than once in like 2 weeks...

how much do I really care?

I think that prayer request was a challenge to me to see if my heart is truly set on God as I am seeing my planner fill up with more and more stuff.

My words and actions don't mean much if my heart isn't there.

you guys rule. have a great day
-dave

wowza

2006-02-07T01:38:00.000-06:00

WOW.

So I just got back from the "Indescribable Tour" concert in Peoria which featured Chris Tomlin, Louis Giglio(don't ask me how to spell his name) and Matt Redman.

It was AMAZING.

That's about all I got at this point...somehow my voice is still in tact which really doesn't make any sense.

Tonight was great. The concert was amazing. I really don't know what else to say.

have a great night guys :)
-dave

this song is stupid!!!

2006-02-04T03:10:00.000-06:00

ok so Mr. Kelly and myself went to visit my grandma today. It was a blast. Gibson City has the best Chinese restaraunt I've ever been to in my life.

Go there. It's amazing. Maybe it tastes better to me because I get to spend time with my grandma. Or maybe it's just awesome.

...or maybe both.

Anyway, there's a song I really like. I got to listen to it today and was reminded of how much i enjoy this song and cd. Quite frankly the song doesn't have anything to do with anything. I just really like it and i thought i'd put it up here.

So Far, So Bad

We thought we'd write a song about all of the problems inherent in the industry, it was going to be an exposé written in unblemished symmetry. We were going to have our glorious exit, an admonition and an encore, we were going to make a point to the whole world, but no one wants to hear it anymore.

Don't worry what this song would say, you'll never hear it anyway. They won't play this song on the radio, so far, so bad, that's how it goes. They'll pull our records from the shelves, so far, so bad, that's how it goes.

The rhyme scheme to this song was mostly flawless, it might have made good poetry. It could have bridged the gap between the classes, and overthrown the bourgeoisie. It made a couple points about the future, and how the past was kind of uncool, and if you ever tried to play it backwards, it told the kids to stay in school.

I thought I'd write an epiphany, how something good is changing me, but I guess we dodged some passing fad, it looks like it's so far, so bad. This song is rad. You could ask your dad. He won't be mad. This song is stupid.
-Five Iron Frenzy

lol i am a huge fan of that song.

love you guys. have a great...morning?...

oof i need sleep
:)

-dave

restoration

2006-01-31T20:51:00.000-06:00

So wow. I'm going through Isaiah this semester with a friend of mine and we read chapters 7,8 and 9. I'm not very far in this book and am already finding it both very difficult and very awesome all at the same time. Difficult because it is driving home God's power.

And it scares me.

I can't act like i'm comfortable with reading a lot of this stuff. For those of you who are, I pray that day will come when in humility I'm able to share in such faith and wisdom. But right now, it scares me to read the second half of Chapter 9 which ends each phrase with:

"yet for all this, his anger is not turned away, his hand is still upraised."

That's scary to read

"Raise the war cry, you nations, and be shattered! Listen, all you distant lands. Prepare for battle and be shattered!
Prepare for battle and be shattered!
Devise your strategy, but it will be thwarted;
propose your plan, but it will not stand,
for God is with us" (8:9-10)

There is a power here that I just do not understand. This Father of ours is able to crush whatever He wants. He has the power to give and take whatever He chooses. This fact makes me quite uncomfortable. I'm not sure, that in my heart, i'm very willing to accept the fact that I deserve such a fate as would be the case for these people---

"Therefore, as toungues of fire lick up straw and as dry grass sinks down in the flames,
so their roots will decay
and their flowers blow away like dust;
for they have rejected the law of the Lord Almighty
and spurned the word of the Holy One of Israel.
Therefore the Lord's anger burns against his people;
His hand is raised and he strikes them down.
The mountains shake,
and the dead bodies are like refuse in the streets.

Yet for all this, his anger is not turned away, his hand is still upraised." (5:24-25).

...ow.

Is it possible to be absolutely moved into a lack of comfort--to be scared and really unsure of myself because i'm so unable to actually wrap my mind around this stuff--and yet still somehow enjoy it at times?

I'm finding this book hard. But i'm finding it to be amazing as well.

I can't understand the huge amount of hope found in His love that Isaiah talks about. I do not understand the love He has for His people. There's so much hope and love in the little I've read of this book. It seriously just seems like it is bursting out of it. In the midst of all this desolation and destruction, there's something good that is sitting quietly, waiting to be revealed.

I'm reading this book and am finding a great deal of joy.

I'm considering the difference Jesus made. The time period in which i live is one where something is already true about me.

He is restoring all things. I have no need to fear.

There's so much joy in this--

"Nevertheless, there will be no more gloom for those who were in distress. In the past he humbled the land of Zebulun and the land of Naphtali, but in the future he will honor Galilee of the Gentiles, by the way of the sea, along the Jordan--

The people walking in darkness
have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of the shadow of death
a light has dawned.
You have enlarged the nation and increased their joy;
they rejoice before you as people rejoice at the harvest,
as men rejoice when dividing the plunder.

For as in the day of Midian's defeat
you have shattered
the yoke that burdens them,
the bar across their shoulders,
the rod of their oppressor.

Every warrior's boot used in battle and every garment rolled in blood
will be destined for burning
will be fuel for the fire.

For to us a child is born, to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Of the increase of his government and peace there will be no end.

He will reign on David's throne and over his kingdom
establising and upholding it with justice and righteousness
from that time on and forever
The zeal of the Lord Almighty
will accomplish this."
Isaiah 9:1-7

I love this. It is seriously a huge breath of fresh air to me---

you have shattered
the yoke that burdens them,
the bar across their shoulders,
the rod of their oppressor.

I'm still scared to death of some of this stuff. It certainly helps to go through this stuff with someone else. But I still don't understand a lot of it and am not comfortable with the majority of it yet. I'm still really foolish about a lot of stuff and so I am getting convicted by a lot in this book. But I do know that every time I read, I can receive it with joy because of Jesus Christ.

have a great night guys :)
-dave

URL'ed!!!!!!!

2006-01-30T18:51:00.000-06:00

...read this post and this post if you get the chance. They were quite awesome...

...oh and so was this one

I also want to give a shout out to my friend Jmac who keeps recording rap songs. He is a good friend and has been a big encouragement to me. I'm enjoying this song. Yes, it is rap. No, you don't have to like it. But I really liked this song. I really did...and rap doesn't regularly play through my speakers. The song's called "Victorious."

On my mind lately--

"We cannot earn what we have always had. What we can do is trust that what God keeps insisting is true about us is actually true...This reality, this forgiveness, this reconcilliation, is true for everybody. Paul insisted that when Jesus died on the cross, he was reconciling 'all things, in heaven and on earth to God'. All things, everywhere.

This reality then isn't something we make true about ourselves by doing something. It is already true. Our choice is to live in this new reality or cling to a reality of our own making."

-Rob Bell in his Velvet Elvis

Have an amazing night guys :)
-dave

a cord of three strands...

2006-01-28T00:50:00.000-06:00

The Edge was really good tonight. The Vision being casted is really getting me excited.

There's a lot of stuff churning through my head right now but I'm not sure there's too much I can really put down. All I've been thinking about tonight is Ecclesiastes 4:9-12. My folks volunteered every year in the youth tent at Cornerstone Music Festival and there was a song about these verses. I've had that tune in my head this evening.

"Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work:
If one falls down, his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken."

It has been so easy to shut myself off. It's hard to really let my friends love me sometimes. But I need it. The grace and love you guys show me is amazing. I've been picked up and challenged by my friends in a big way recently (ok not anything new :) ). I've been reminded of what grace looks like. I don't deserve it. Thank you.

have a good night guys
-dave

"As iron sharpens iron
so does one and another
and that's what God intended us to do"
-Cool Hand Luke
...yeah yeah yeah it might be from some book too ;)

i need love

2006-01-25T23:33:00.000-06:00

I left my conscience like a crying child
locked the door behind me put the pain on file
broken like a window i see my blindness now

i need love
not some sentimental prison
i need God
not the political church
i need fire
to melt this frozen sea inside me
i need love

driving into town tired and depressed
like a flare the streetlight bursts an s.o.s.
peace comes to my rescue and i don't know what it means
i need love

i need love
not some sentimental prison
i need God
not the political church
i need fire
to melt this frozen sea inside me
i need love

-Sixpence None the Richer

rest for the weary...

2006-01-22T02:08:00.000-06:00

Went to "The Gathering" at West Side Christian Church and loved it. I love that community. I love having another support group off of campus. It helps remind me that this thing is so much bigger than just the campus of UIS. It also gets me more excited to serve at UIS because the passion for service at West Side just kind of kicks me in the butt every time i go there.

Anyway, Melissa Sandel spoke about community. The young adult group at West Side is totally on the same page as CSF. It seems to be all about this whole community thing. She stressed the HUGE importance of how we should not just come to each other for accountability on certain problems. we should be coming to each other and basically giving an account of our entire days down to the last mundane detail. She said that for those with whom we live our lives on a day to day basis, we should remember that what we do, good or bad, has an impact on those around us. For us to hide that from others isn't only gonna hurt ourselves, it's gonna have an impact on others as well.

I'm encouraged to see Herschel, West Side, and those around me all throwing around this idea of community. Clearly God must be big and most definitely must be up to something. But it's hard for me a lot. I struggle with being vulnerable in front of others. I want to be strong for myself and for those around me. I'm raised in a society that encourages individualism, not community. Forget honesty. "Real men" don't cry, embrace, kiss, feel sad, hurt, or let anything phase them.

it's all such a lie. What reason do i have to hold this stuff back?

There's so much I love to hang onto. There are so many stones that i wish would not be unturned. So many rats in the cellar. So many things that make me feel like i should isolate myself from others. So many reasons to hide behind a bush and hope God doesn't see the tasted fruits lying all around me.

All those will be exposed one day, why must i live as if they're not there? Open, childlike honesty seems to be the only defense against the lies of guilt and shame that satan pours onto us when we hide stuff from God and others.

why would i hide from such a love that is found only in Him and is caught in glimpses through others? This song means so much to me

Rest For the Weary

Hey, it’s me
I’m sorry it’s so late
I can’t sleep
I knew You’d be awake (Psalm 121:4)
You’re always home
Waiting by the phone
For nights like these
When I’m feeling all alone

I wish it didn’t always
Have to be this way
I wish that I could talk to You
Face to face
But nothing compares to the way
You always listen and know just what to say

Hold my hand
I can’t stand alone
Here I am
Waiting for You to take me home

Oh, I just want to sing
I only wish there was a word
For what You mean to me
I would only say it once
In hushed tones
So it would not grow old
But all I have
Is “I love You”

You’re my Jesus, You’re my hero
Everything I wish that I could be

You’re the one who comforts me
When everyone is gone away
I can’t stand alone
Here I am
Waiting for You to take me home

And I will keep on singing
Because You hear me
And I will keep on smiling
Because You’re near me

I’ll sleep well on a promise tonight.

have a good night guys
-dave

music!!

2006-01-21T12:47:00.000-06:00

Guys I just got an amazing album in the mail.

This album is rocking my world. This is Charlie Peacock's son. Ok now i understand if people don't like Charlie Peacock. His style was very very unique and not an easy one to get into. i like it but i was not surprised by other's reactions to it. I played Charlie for one of my really good friends in the car the other day and he gave me this terrible look. It was really funny. Charlie'll just have to grow on you guys...

But Sam Ashworth is a lot different. His style is really laid back. He teamed up with Sixpence None the Richer's Matt Slocum to make this album and they're currently touring together. It has an amazing cast of musicians on here. Scott Dente(from Out of The Grey) plays electric guitar, Charlie Peacock plays piano and wurlitzer and sings some background vocals, as does Lindsey Jameison of Ben Folds.

Ashworth has some amazing melodies in here with a very deep and full sound but somehow still simple. His lyrics are very honest and seem to be a story of his faith. This album isn't very well known so i haven't been able to find lyrics yet to put up. As soon as i do, i'll put them up. Check this guy out if you're into the mellow, yet full, acoustic feel of Beck's "Sea Changes" or David Grey's "a new day at midnight" and/or really early Sixpence None the Richer.

hard to compare stuff to this. I'm loving it.
have an awesome one guys :)
-dave

good night

2006-01-20T22:14:00.000-06:00

Almost ready for bed. I just wanted to say that the edge was awesome tonight. So many people! It was quite overwhelming and quite awesome.

part of a song that was played tonight

"and all of you
is more than enough for
all of me
for every thirst and every need
you satisfy me with your love
and all i have in you is more than enough"

These lyrics really hit me hard when i actually did more than just sing the words on the page. Everything we have ever wanted or needed can be found in Him.

Well, i just took two Tylenol PM and i'll be out in 10 minutes so i'm gonna stop before this gets weird.

love you guys
-dave

good morning good morning!

2006-01-19T10:31:00.000-06:00

good morning good morning

My thoughts are jumbled and i'm not sure what the point of this blog will be, but i have a little time and I have some stuff to put down.

My schedule looks pretty easy. Somehow i missed my very first class of the semester. I was pretty irresponsible so i don't want to try to say I have some great excuse. I just kind of misread my schedule and then didn't bother checking it until ten minutes before when I THOUGHT the class started. So yeah...i feel really dumb for that.

The two classes that i've actually attended sound like they'll be really cool. It doesn't sound like I'll have too much work which is really exciting. Coming off of last semester, where i was super busy trying to keep up with 4 history courses (and a dumb psych course), i'm really ready to have a semester where i can focus on things other than school. I mean, I'm not here for school anyway right? The fields are ripe for harvest right here on campus and i don't want to miss out on that.

I ran through the whole range of emotions this last week. I was ultra-excited, then freakishly sad, angry at times, lonely at times and calm at other times. After such a violent swing of emotions, i find myself just exhausted from it.

I feel quite dry.

In these times it's really easy for me to get complacent. It's really easy to sit back and wait for the "feeling" to come back so i can be purposeful again. But after I've experienced this at least a few times now in my faith, I find that this is just another time to chase after Him. My prayers can all be laced with the truth that He remains. He never changes and though I can't feel Him, He's always there.

During these times it can become a little difficult to love people. I think it's because i base my actions so many times off of my emotions. I'm still finishing up Mere Christianity and I absolutely loved it when Lewis talked about how sometimes we may not feel like loving someone, but after we try, we come to find that our investment in a person eventually leads to a real love for that person. I totally relate to this. I remember at the beginning of the summer when I was getting ready to work for the cleaning crew. I was surrounded by 12 Indians(not to be confused with Native Americans) whose actions and words did not seem appealing to me. I did not really want to love them. However, I still tried. I started learning about them and spending time with them. I came to found out I really enjoyed their company.

This lesson about real love really hit home for me last night. I was walking back from worship practice and was checking my voicemail on my phone. I got a message from one of my closest friends from the summer---one of the Indians(his name is really long, so we just called him CK for short). He left at the beginning of August to go back to India to study for a semester. He said he was coming back this semester but i hadn't heard from him yet and i couldn't get ahold of him. I almost started crying because i was so excited to hear his voice. After i heard the voicemail i sat there for a second and thought about what it really means to love people. I saw how I was in no mood to get to know this guy 9 months ago.

And now I'm rejoicing when i simply receive a voicemail from him.

A little effort. A little focus on someone other than myself. A little laying down of my pride turned into a truly amazing friendship. I think this is at the heart of what love is. I think too often i make it out to be some blissful state only attainable through marriage. But Jesus totally turns the tables on that one.

He set the example for a different kind of love. It was a lifestyle. It was rooted in humility. It was all about sacrifice and putting others before oneself.

I've been reminded lately that this is where my focus should be when I am with other people. College is an amazing place to try this out because i'm "with" a gagillion people. The phone call from CK really reminded me of what it means to love.

lol....and leave it to one of my favorite authors to drive the point home this morning in my devotional. I'm loving this new devo book.

"The axis of the Christian moral revolution is love, and it is the only sign given by Jesus by which the disciple would be recognized. The danger lurks in our subtle attempts to minimize, rationalize, and justify our moderation in this regard. Turning the other cheek, walking the extra mile, offering no resistance to injury, being reconciled with one's brother, and forgiving seventy times seven times are not arbitrary whims of the Son of Man. He did not preface the Sermon on the Mount with, "It would be nice if..." His "new" commandment structures the new covenant in his blood. So central is the precept of fraternal love that Paul called it the fulfillment of the Law."
-Brennan Manning.

alrighty that's enough randomness for one morning.
have a good one guys :)
-dave

rings out so deep...

2006-01-17T01:18:00.000-06:00

Well sometimes my life just don't make sense at all
when the mountains look so big
and my faith just seems so small

So hold me Jesus
'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
won't you be my Prince of Peace?

And I wake up in the night and feel the dark
It's so hot inside my soul
I swear there must be blisters on my heart

so hold me Jesus
'cause I'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
won't you be my Prince of Peace?

Surrender don't come natural to me
I'd rather fight you for something I don't really want
than take what you give that I need
And I've beat my head against so many walls
and I'm falling down
and I'm falling on my knees

and the Salvation Army band is playing this hymn
and Your grace rings out so deep
it makes my resistance seem so thin

so hold me Jesus
'cause i'm shaking like a leaf
You have been King of my glory
won't you be my Prince of Peace?

"Hold me Jesus"
-Rich Mullins

The silence of Jesus...

2006-01-16T12:15:00.000-06:00

So I'm reading "The Importance of Being Foolish" by Brennan Manning and am really being blown away. I don't know if it's just because it's where I'm at, but it seems like this book is right up there with "Ragamuffin Gospel" and definitely better than "Ruthless Trust." (other works of Manning's). So i wanted to share something from this book really quick.

here it is----

"The New Testament is relevant only if we grasp the fundamental meaning of the radical demands of the gospel while at the same time understanding that we can never completely fulfill them. None of us can say, "I have kept all the commandments." We always fall short to some extent. Think again of forgiveness. In our hearts none of us have completely fogiven our enemies the way we should. In Jesus's post-Resurrection encounter with the apostles on the beach along the Sea of Tiberias, when one might have expected, as Raymond Brown says, "the impact of unbearable glory," Jesus serves fish and chips. There is no mention, apparently even no memory of their betrayal. Never a reproach or even an indirect reference to their cowardice in the time of testing. No sarcastic greeting like, "Well my fair-weather friends...." No vindictiveness, spite, or humiliating reproach. Only words of warmth and tenderness. The same in the Upper Room as Jesus says, "peace be to you."

This is more than forgiveness. The silence of Jesus is exquisite. To learn the meaning of steadfast friendship, delicacy in dialogue, sensitivity to the feelings of others, and love that "keeps no record of wrongs"(1 Corinthians 13:2), one must listen to the forgiveness in the heart of Jesus as he says to Mary Magdalene on Easter morning, "Go and tell my brothers..." (Matthew 28:10).

-Brennan Manning "The Importance of Being Foolish"

what an amazing love and grace offered to us. i don't understand it.

This love and grace is The Good News.

Have a good one guys :)
-dave

though i feel alone, i am never alone

2006-01-14T11:19:00.000-06:00

Saturday morning. A few thoughts...

Returning to school has brought on an overwhelming wave of emotions. I'm not going to lie. I needed a month away. I needed time to reflect. I needed time to learn about myself. It was definitely a good break. i definitely needed lots of time where i could be alone. I also needed to have time with my family. The last two weeks were pretty good for me personally. Some stuff needed to be faced, there were things about which i needed to rejoice and things i needed to grieve. i am learning to be honest with myself and with God. Overall i came to the airport with a great deal of peace and excitement for this semester.

And now I'm at school and everything's hard.

I don't have any real joyful emotions right now. Kind of down and more focused on myself.

I guess I got pretty comfortable on the reservation over break. I'm thankful for this in a sense because the move to the reservation made me not very excited to visit home, knowing that i would have a great deal of time to be by myself. I wanted to see my family after they moved but didn't want to have to spend all the alone time up there. It was/has been hard to find people up there to hang out with. Every break prior to this one, I spent the whole time just being a vegetable, watching tv and quite honestly just feeling sorry for myself because i was bored. But the great thing about this break was that I didn't deal with that near is much. It was still a struggle, but i found there were still plenty of ways to be purposeful on the reservation even if it didn't seem like it. My sisters and myself actually MADE A FRIEND our age who lives within 20 miles of the reservation(this is HUGE guys). We actually went out one monday night and had a lot of fun. When I was alone, I read so many books, I played guitar and basketball all the time. I prayed, I got loud, I shut up and in all these I learned about worship and how He listens to me. It was great to finally not only enjoy seeing my amazing family, but to also make use of a big portion of the time i had to myself.

So, being a creature of habit, I came back to school in "reservation mode." Definitely doesn't work like that on campus. So many people to see. So many things to do. So much louder and busier(is that how you spell it?). This isn't a bad thing at all. It's just different.

But i'm kind of in shock right now. I feel like a deer caught in headlights. I still don't feel like i've gotten my bearings. It's not a huge deal. It's just that even in the presence of tons of people I've felt like i've held onto the alone-ness(i can't spell...deal with it :) ) of the reservation. I've felt more than a little out of it.

But this morning as I was reading and listening to a song, I was reminded of how he He entrusts us with the opportunity to chase after Him even when we don't feel like it. What's more, He still chases after us even when we don't feel like it. His faithfulness and love are steady and unchanging.

He is the picture of stability in the midst of my tiny crises.

So in this time of nothingness...in this time of lame emotions, it's more than a little nice to know that I am loved by the perfectly faithful God in Heaven who desires nothing less than to spend every waking moment of every day with me for eternity. I was really moved by the words of this song. It spoke to me of hope and a consistent faithfulness and love that i need in the midst of all the inconsistencies of this world.

"Though I feel alone
I am never alone

You are with me
Oh, my Lord

In the night-time while I’m on my bed
I will let every thought be of You
For you are good
You take all those who will come to You

In the morning as I face the day
I will let every thought be of You
For you are good
You take all those who will come to You"

"though i feel alone"
by Don Chaffer

have a good one guys :)

-dave

Traveling, reading, learning...

2006-01-13T02:32:00.000-06:00

I'm back at school. I was showered with love by so many people tonight. thanks guys. :)

So while flying over Minnesota, I finished the ragamuffin gospel...again. Loved it...again. Am almost through with Mere Christianity and am really being challenged.

So I started "The Importance of Being Foolish" by Manning 's at the Minneaoplis Intl. Airport. Really loving this guy's thoughts. If you can't tell, i've been on a big Brennan Manning/C.S. Lewis kick recently. Check these guys out if you haven't yet! good stuff...

good to cya'll!
good night :)
-dave

"It's difficult, boss, very difficult. You need a touch of folly to do it; folly, do you see? You have to risk everything."

on the road again...

2006-01-11T17:40:00.000-06:00

So i'm flying out tomorrow from Duluth. I love the Duluth Airport. It's small, fast, and very easy. I usually connect at the Twin Cities which is obviously much bigger, but still a very nice and hassle free airport. I'll touch down in Peoria tomorrow afternoon.

Wow I feel like i've been gone for a year.

I love sharing stuff on blogs but some stuff is just hard to nail down into one blog or a series of blogs. so how bout instead i'll share two passages that have meant a lot to me over break and just leave it at that.

¹ Sing joyfully to the LORD, you righteous;
it is fitting for the upright to praise him.

² Praise the LORD with the harp;
make music to him on the ten-stringed lyre.

³ Sing to him a new song;
play skillfully, and shout for joy.

⁴ For the word of the LORD is right and true;
he is faithful in all he does.

⁵ The LORD loves righteousness and justice;
the earth is full of his unfailing love.

⁶ By the word of the LORD were the heavens made,
their starry host by the breath of his mouth.

⁷ He gathers the waters of the sea into jars ^[a] ;
he puts the deep into storehouses.

⁸ Let all the earth fear the LORD;
let all the people of the world revere him.

Psalm 33:1-8

and....

⁷"Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. ⁸For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.
Matthew 7:7-8

cya soon!
have a good one guys :)
-dave

the things i do for herschel...

2006-01-10T00:36:00.000-06:00

the things i do for you Herschel...I give and i give and i give

Four jobs you’ve had in your life: paper carrier, tennis clinics instructor, elementary school tutor, student ambassador
Four movies you could watch over and over: Emperor's New Groove, The Pianist, Saving Private Ryan, The Thin Red Line
Four places you’ve lived: St. Paul (MN), Charleston, Ely (MN), Springfield
Four TV shows you love to watch: Sportscenter, NFL games/Primetime, Cardinals games, Dirty Jobs (dad showed it to me a couple weeks ago and it is a really funny show)
Four places you’ve been on vacation: Colorado, Wash. D.C., the Boundary Waters, Magruder's house
Four websites you visit daily-- um...daily?...besides my email and this blog, i don't look at specific sites daily...i get the nytimes online every day but i would be lying if i said i read it every single day...i check savedarfur.org at least once a week because they send me an email as well...other than that...um...*cough*
Four of your favorite foods: Nachos, tacos, biscuits and gravy, cheese
Four places you’d rather be: i catch myself dreaming sometimes about the Boundary Waters(in the summer), Peru, Africa and Springfield(this switches to Nett Lake when I'm in Springfield)
Four albums you can’t live without: only four?!?!?! agghhhh!!! 20th Century Masters' Best of The Temptations, Waterdeep: To Chase Away the Birds, Cool Hand Luke: The Fires of Life, Mozart's Requiem
Four magazines you read: I don't....i'm sorry :(
Four cars you’ve owned: '78 Sky Blue AMC Gremlin X (yeah that's right...it was beautiful), '89 Toyota Pickup
Four people I'm tagging: JK, Erin, Shana, Wallace

well that wasn't so bad. have fun!

-dave

monkeys at the zoo...

2006-01-09T11:40:00.000-06:00

I remember the up and down days of high school when I would spend a weekend at some retreat, make a "new" commitment, be so peaceful because i felt like i was restored, and then i would stop caring again. Old habits would return, and i would run after the same stupid things i had the week before. nothing changed. I've kinda felt that way today. Like i was not humbled at all by His love and grace after a time of rejoicing.

Instead i've been on a guilt trip and have tried to make up for not checking my heart by doing things that will please Him....even though i know He wants my heart.

so yeah it hasn't worked very well. Faith without works is dead. Doing good deeds is a very good thing. But if my works are not inspired by a heart broken by the cross and laid open before God, then i'm not sure they are worth much.

this song makes a lot of sense to me. I dunno if it's just me, but i find this guys lyrics to be very encouraging and challenging. i'm glad i am getting into this stuff even if it is old and different.

a very relevant song by my artist of the week:

Will it be different now or the same?
Will I have learned anything?
Or was it just a way to spend a day or two
set aside for thinking thoughts about You?

If that's all it was, I had a good time

But that won't be enough for me
Not this year, not anytime soon
I have to clean house
Gotta make my bed, gotta clear my head
It's getting kind of stuffy in here
smells sort of funky too
like monkeys at the zoo

I have been whoring after things
'Cause I wanna feel safe inside -- That's a big fat lie
No amount of green, gold or silver
Will ever take the place of the peace of God
Spirit come flush the lies out
Spirit come flush the lies out

Will it be different now or the same?
Have I changed at all?
And if you were to dive deep inside my soul
would you find Jesus there
or a gaping hole?
Should I be content with my beautiful "Christian" life?

But that won't be enough for me
Not this year not anytime soon
I have got to clean house
gotta make my bed, gotta clear my head
it's getting kinda stuffy in here
smells sort of funky too
like monkeys at the zoo

I have been whoring after things
Cause i wanna get everything right
that's a big fat lie
No amount of green, gold, silver
the perfect body, another hot toddy,
work for the Lord, fame and power
power and sex
a seat at a table at the Belle Meade Country Club
Here's the rub: nothing will ever take the place of the peace of God
Spirit come flush the lies out...

Will it be different now or the same?
Will I have learned anything?

"Monkeys at the zoo"
-Charlie Peacock

I'll say it once again, i miss you guys. I've needed this break away from everything for a number of reasons, but I am truly looking forward to being and serving in the community that is being built. It will be h'AWESOME.

see ya soon!
have a good one guys
-dave

Waterdeep = awesome

2006-01-08T01:16:00.000-06:00

Don and Lori Chaffer's ministry through music continues to impact my life in a big way. I just got two of their worship albums and am being opened up to a sort of worship that is so much more genuine/authentic/real/awesome than anything i've ever heard/played/sang. it has helped so much as i have been praying for guidance in learning more about worship.

this song isn't off of a worship album. it's off of one of don's albums entitled "What You Don't Know." it's not even a worship song per se (making this post rather random). But it has been running in and out of my mind all break. I remember a couple months ago sitting outside with a couple guys enjoying our time together. I remember asking them what some of the lyrics in this song meant. I didn't understand it then. Now the lyrics are hitting hard.

"What You Don't Know"

Sometime while I was sleeping
we crossed into Virginia
I woke up and stepped out of the van
'Ma’am, where's the cigarettes?'
She said, 'Over there with a southern drawl
I said, 'do they all talk like you ‘round here?'

Sometimes what you don’t know can hurt you
Sometimes you can’t see right from wrong
You’re too blind to see
And too far down the road
and now she’s gone, gone, gone, gone, gone

Crystalline and hazy
The memory is crazy
You never know the way that it might go
Like laughin’ under summer trees
Or stayin’ close when the branches freeze
I guess this is all I was ever supposed to know

Somehow I’m gonna get up from this car wreck
Somehow I’ll get up and walk away
After two months in intensive care
And half a year in God knows where
I am gonna pick up and move on

Last night while I was dreaming
My daddy came and spoke to me
He said, son ain’t no man ever loved too good this way
All brain and no feelin’
gets you screwed into the ceiling
Don’t try so hard to figure out what to say

‘Cause sometimes what you don’t know, it won’t hurt you
And it ain’t so hard to see what’s right from wrong
Just open up your eyes
And take off that disguise
Boy, the way you dramatize
won’t make a heart that’s wise
You’re a man when you live inside your own skin
You’re a man when you live inside your own skin
-Don Chaffer

have a great night guys
-dave

new old music

2006-01-05T23:44:00.000-06:00

So I've been listening to an awesome artist lately. Actually i've been listening to his work and the work of his son. This post is dedicated to the former.

Charlie Peacock. Anyone heard of him? He's still a musician but does a great deal of producing these days. His style is almost "pop" but somehow it's still really good because he's a dang good musician. He recently put out a jazz album and i'm probably gonna get it the next time i have the cash to drop on a cd.

The album to which I've been recently listening is entitled "Everything that's on my mind."
This is a pretty old album. I grew up listening to Charlie Peacock in the car, at Cornerstone and Agape festivals, at home...my parents really like him. I always thought his music was pretty cool but that was about it.

Now i'm reading his lyrics and this guy, my friends, is an amazing lyricist. The music is indeed unique and most excellent, but the words make this stuff really stand out. This album is incredibly deep and he is consistent in the deepness(is that a word?) in all of the albums i've heard from him.

There are two songs specifically that are affecting me in a big way right now. ---

"I've been out here for so long riding fences
I don't know what it finally was
that brought me to my senses
Was it the cold?
Was it loneliness?
Was it my shame at the sickness of my flesh?

Rebuilding fences is an introspective undertaking
there's no diversion to distract you from the deeper aching
I cut the wood
I swung the hammer
Every strike like a flash of understanding

I have to say everything that's on my mind
I cannot keep it bottled up inside of me
I have to pray, it took me far too long to find out
That my weakness is my testimony

All my labor was the protest demonstration
Of a man who had the gall to call conviction condemnation
Till I cried for grace
and I finally meant it
Till I left my pride behind me nailed to those fences

Up in this altitude the cold of night can kill
My fingers got so numb,
My body got so chilled
It seeps into your bones and devastates your will
Oh, I'm not the strongest man
No, I'm not the only man
Who's been broken in those hills

I have to say everything that's on my mind
I cannot keep it bottled up inside of me
I have to pray, it took me far too long to find out that my weakness is my testimony"
"Everything that's on my mind"
-Charlie Peacock

This song has been hitting me like a ton of bricks. I've been thinking a lot this break about being honest with God, with myself, and with other people and the freedom that results. Like i said in another blog, I'm reading the Ragamuffin Gospel again and am being reminded of the importance of recognizing, admitting and being ok with the fact that i don't have it all together. I have to be honest with Him, myself and others or it'll stay inside me to rot. He gives grace --my weakness is my testimony.

so yeah. really loving that song. Here's another song. I could honestly put the whole album on here but these two are really hitting me because they're kinda where i've been at for a while.

"Just about sundown on the levee road near the old fishin hole
teaching me to shoot straight and true was your only goal
you threw a can up in the air and smiled
I pulled the trigger, missed by a mile, you said:

'Aim a little higher and you can't miss
Bless that can with a shotgun kiss
Aim a little higher, try it again
Aim a little, Aim a little, Aim a little higher'

In later years on a river of tears
I drifted home for awhile
Since shame was the only glory I'd ever known,
I didn't change my style
first night home I got drunk and confused
mistook you for a fool, you were not amused

You said: 'Aim a little higher, 'Cause you're not livin'
All this takin' son and never givin's
gonna catch up to you like a ball of fire
Aim a little, aim a little, aim a little higher

Aim a little higher, you're shooting too low
Aim for the dirt and you'll never know
glorious redemption or heavenly hope
Aim a little, aim a little, aim a little higher'

In those deceptive moments,
In those deceptive days
when the dung and the mire look like the high wire
will there be anyone who loves me enough to say

'Aim a little higher, 'Cause you're not livin'
All this takin' son and never givin's
gonna catch up to you like a ball of fire
Aim a little, aim a little, aim a little higher
Aim a little higher, you're shooting too low
Aim for the dirt and you'll never know
glorious redemption or heavenly hope
Aim a little, aim a little, aim a little higher"

"Aim a little higher"
-Charlie Peacock

i don't feel like giving an analysis of two songs. I'm still kind of chewing on this one. So even if i did write stuff down, i'm not sure it would be very coherent.

so yes...i bought some used cd's of his online cuz my folks only have cassette tapes and most of his old stuff is out of print. Check this stuff out. It's unique and is very very good in my opinion.

have an awesome night guys :)
-dave

Call Me Susie Homemaker

2006-01-04T13:17:00.000-06:00

I, David Lasley, am baking cookies this afternoon.

yes. it's true. My afternoon is being spent with cookie sheets, spatulas and cookie dough. Ok so i didn't make the dough. Mom made the dough. But it's ok. someone's gotta get 'em cooked right?

So that's what i'm doing today. And while i'm on this food/cooking kick, I want to share a little bit about my favorite food. I've been wanting to create this post for a long time.

look! he's happy to see you!

I am a huge fan of nachos.

yes. it's true

They are by far my favorite food. At any point during the day, breakfast, lunch, dinner, midnight, 2:31 in the morning...it doesn't matter---if you put a bowl of cheese dip and a bag of tortilla chips in front of me, i would down them like nobody's business.

Ok so i have several recipes i would like to share on here. They are quite simple, but will make your taste buds sing.

Late night snack dip
1/8th block of velveeta
1/2 cup salsa
Tortilla chips

Cube the cheese...put ingredients into a bowl. Microwave for around 4 minutes...stirring every minute or so.

Easiest Cheese dip evaar:
1 block Velveeta Cheese
1 can of Rotel Original Diced Tomatoes and Green Chiles
1 bag Tortilla chips (I would recommend buying the cheapest ones because I've eaten a lot of tortilla chips and they all taste the same)

Slice cheese into cubes. Dump all ingredients in a crock pot on low heat. Stir. Wait until cheese is melted...

and enjoy! this one is usually doubled or tripled and makes a great party type of dip.

My favorite cheese dip...and yes that is what it shall be called.
1/2 block of velveeta cheese
1 can Hormel no bean chili
16 oz. cream cheese
1 bag tortilla chips(see above)

Preheat oven to 350 (this really doesn't matter that much. You can put it in the microwave if you would prefer).

Spread cream cheese evenly over the entire bottom of a glass dish/pie plate of some sort. Pour chili over top of the cream cheese and spread evenly. Cut cheese into slices over top of the chili until the entire top is covered. Put in oven or microwave until cheese is melted on top.

And then...

CONSUME!!!!!

...with chips...

...the spoon is optional and is usually reserved for the lucky soul who is left with the crumbs at the bottom of the bag. This person has the means to shovel massive amounts of chips and cheese into his mouth. A pro (must be a rather large human being with stomach of steel...or a Lasley :) ) could probably consume with a spoon at an average of 50 spm (shovels per minute).

Guys have a great day :)
-dave

here it is...

2006-01-03T00:43:00.000-06:00

Spare me some time to reflect. I will say that I feel like i've changed a ton from the david lasley of last Christmas break. I don't think it's really possible to list stuff like that on a blog. But i do want to say that it freaks me out to see such crazy changes and wonder what i'll look like next year at this time.

I've been encouraged by two blogs recently. This one and this one talked about some very important stuff. Take a look at them if you get the chance.

...unless you're either of those two people...

...then you can just sit around and eat nachos.

I don't have much to say. In reflection on the past, the first blog (john) says it best. God remained the same. His love is amazing, steady and unchanging. With regards to now--I love the second blog(erin) -- the prayer of simply knowing Him this year and from here on out.

My prayer comes from those two blogs i guess.

that I would be honest to Him and myself about my failures, fears, anxieties, doubts, and uncertainties. that i would recognize that He remains and His grace is sufficient.

that I would seek after Him.

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[m] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Romans 8:38,39

I'm getting excited about this semester. I miss you guys.
have a good one :)
-dave

p.s.--I am headed to Hibbing, MN tomorrow. the hometown of none other than Bob Dylan. It is also the hometown of the music store which sold me(well...my dad/me...we split the cost...it was a birthday present...) my first/current guitar. Furthermore, the neighboring town is Chisholm. This should ring some bells to anyone who has seen the movie Field of Dreams w/ Kevin Costner.

no?

...sigh....

losers :)

a song...

2005-12-30T18:09:00.000-06:00

Been playing this song lately. more importantly its meaning is hitting hard.

If You Want to Get Free

by Don Chaffer

"In the gas station bathroom by the condom machine
I heard the word of the Lord
He said “Take off your shoes,
this is holy ground too
you know I came for the sick and the bored.”
Beneath the selling of beers
And the welling up of tears
Out beyond the beam of the remote control
There’s a whispering voice
That the humble ear ears
that says “I am still waiting
for you to ask just to be made whole.”

And the bush it was burning on the mountain top
and though the leaves never blackened, the fire didn’t stop
That’s the way that it works in this old life of sin
You gotta let the fire burn you just to get clean within

I am so often deterred from my actual intent
by distractions in a cellophane wrap
And the cruel voice that taunts me when I open them up
to find just one more box full of crap
It’s where you’re mocked while you abstain
and then cursed when you give in
It’s all a game that’s impossible to beat
But there’s a peaceful refrain God’ll sing in your brain
when you put the nails to your hands and your feet

And the smell of our sacrifices
still fills up my head
There’s just a few left at the altar, Lord
all the rest of them fled
And we’ve cried and we’ve tried
We’ve sweat and we’ve bled
But we don’t just need atonement
We need to be raised from the dead

When they took down the cross from that dark hillside
The blood on their hands was the blood from his side
That’s the way that it works, That’s the way it must be.
You gotta let His blood stain you if you want to get free
If you want to get free
Don’t you want to get free?
I think you want to be free."

I'm reading the Ragamuffin Gospel(by Brennan Manning) again. I thought I'd wait to finish the last Narnia book after i read Manning's book. It is an amazing book and i'm glad i actually have time to go back through it and mark it up. If you haven't read it, i would recommend it. More to come later....maybe?

-dave

I just get lonely sometimes...

2005-12-28T02:42:00.000-06:00

It's Wednesday night. Everyone seems to be asleep and i'm sitting at this computer.

I've been thinking about a lot of stuff today so i'm just going to start typing and hope it comes out in coherent sort of way...

I'm thinking a lot about how important community is in my life. Obviously, right now, I'm learning a little about what it means to be out of it and how it impacts my life, walk, etc. I'm so thankful and so very blessed to be raised by parents who try to live their lives for the same Creator for whom i try to live. Obviously there is an age/maturity gap between siblings but generally we're all on the same page as well.

Even still...

Is anyone else from campus just feeling like something is missing?

This break has been great in many respects so far. I've played a TON of guitar and basketball. I'm actually running out of books to read because i've spent so much time reading. I have as much time as I want to spend time in the Word each day(that isn't to say that i actually take advantage of the opportunity everyday...) which has allowed me to start prepping for semester Bible study. I've spent quality time with each of my family members on more than one occasion. Overall, on the surface, stuff has been really good.

But honestly, this break has been hard for me.

I have had a really hard time challenging myself. I've read a bunch of really good books that have challenged me. But I feel like the words on the page just kind of go in my head and then out my...nose? I dunno, i feel like everything is really slow and difficult. It makes it worse when i decide to keep this lonely feeling with me all day. I know that when i do this, I blind myself to the one Love I need the most. then i get "needing everything, and needing it today." (lonely sometimes by Don Chaffer)

Also, I have had a really hard time when it has come to discernment. I do not have many people to whom I can go just to spill my guts, or to seek wisdom and/or advice up here. My parents are great but I don't think it's a big shocker when i say that it is hard to open up to parents sometimes. I've spent the whole break with a million thoughts about my life, feelings, future. They've all just sat there, churning around, waiting for an outlet or any sort of light to shed a little brighter on one or two of them.

Consequently (i'm not sure this is a bad thing at all), I'm learning about waiting on the Lord and living freely because of His grace. Everyone says all the time (my mom said it yesterday) that I'm too hard on myself. I've always wanted to be exceptional at the things to which I've committed my time. Unfortunately (unfortunate to only a certain degree) this carried over into my faith. It was unfortunate in the sense that I always tried to control my situation and improve it. In faith, I think I've tried so hard to do stuff the right way so that I can please God the most and save the most people that I constantly lose sight of what is important. I become so caught up in what decision is right or wrong that I forget the freedom that I have in Him through Jesus Christ. I am not trusting that He will work no matter what I do or do not do. He does not need me.

Not recognizing this leads to my worrying. I try to take control of something of which I cannot possibly take control. I constantly battle anxiety in my life. The break has really given me time to take a hard look at this area of my life and realize that it will only be healed by the grace of God. I'm slowly slowly slowly by no power of my own learning to trust and live in this freedom. Clearly we are called to submit and follow Him ("if you love me you will obey my commandments" --- "Peter do you love me?"..."feed my sheep." ---countless other examples...), but i think i just make this stuff too hard and complicated a lot of the time. worry does not have to be a part of this gig.

This anxiety gets pretty tough when i have all this time to myself. It's easy to think about myself the whole time. However, I'm thankful for this time because this is one of many things that is really being brought to the surface during break.

All this stuff is really hard when I don't allow myself to have, or am unable to find support. I think God desires that we bring all these things to Him first, but I also think that we(people) are meant to be together. We are meant to build each other up. We are definitely in need of community. UIS has been amazing in this area. There are so many people who have pushed me, encouraged me, prayed with me, taught me, taken time to simply hang out with me and/or put up with me ;), and loved me. (i'm speaking specifically to those in Springfield at UIS mainly because it is my place of residence these days...that doesn't mean others haven't done this as well)

The Body of Christ is where it's at. I've definitely felt the most at "home" during church service on Sunday up here. Just being reminded that there are those around me desiring the same things that I am makes this thing a little easier and a little sweeter. I love my family and have definitely been pushed by them. But I love my friends too. I miss you guys. We are so blessed to live in a place where we know we will be in contact with people on a daily basis who know the same Love that we do.

You guys challenge me and encourage me. Just knowing that I'm not alone in this thing helps out a lot. You guys mean so much to me. I can't wait to see you. Hope everything is going well. :)

have an awesome night
-dave

quick...whatever...

2005-12-28T02:00:00.000-06:00

quick confession that is more for me than anyone else i suppose:

I've been having a bit of a hard time with whether this blogging thing is really worthwhile. Earlier i deleted pictures and stuff like that cuz i just wasn't cool with spending so much time online to mess with the stuff. I knew it wasn't me. We talked about being "real" earlier this semester and I've been frustrated with the fact that I can't really be "real" with just words or a web page. No matter how hard i try, no one who reads this blog will ever really "know" me very well if they just read the blog.

However, I think this new-fangled "internet" phenomenon has proven to be used in many helpful ways. I've seen so many blogs facillitate discussion and have heard of many people being encouraged by them(I too have experienced these things). So as much as I don't enjoy the internet, I do enjoy people. And if this is a way to interact with those I care for, then so be it. so there...it's out there. I still say "no" to myspace or facebook simply because of the INSANE amount of time i've seen people spend on them. I am weak and would most definitely get sucked into it :)

Blogging, on the other hand has been at least mildly productive. and i think i just need to stop taking myself so dang seriously with some of this stuff. so blogging shall continue...

have a good one...
a more worthwhile post to come shortly i think...
-dave

update?

2005-12-26T01:12:00.000-06:00

Well, it has been a blast so far.

I've been to several of my sister's basketball games, been spending time with my family, reading a lot, enjoying music a lot, and missing you guys a lot.

Christmas Eve and Christmas were great. I really enjoyed the amount of time i got to spend with my family. I am becoming a big fan of holidays such as Thanksgiving and Christmas because it allows the family to get together and simply enjoy each other's company. This Christmas may or may not be the last one the whole family has together for a while because Maggie's searching for a job (sounds as though overseas is preferable to her). I got to cook dinner with her last night and she put together an AMAZING pot of mexican rice. Always good to have sisters who enjoy sharing recipes with their younger brothers :).

Christmas day was really fun. Scott(my younger/awesome brother) woke everyone up at like 7:00 this morning. I crawled out of bed half asleep and walked upstairs to see everyone huddled together on the living room floor next to the tree.

Ok so i HAVE to tell you about the gift given to me by my mother this year. by no means do i wish to gloat over gifts or anything like that. i thought i would share a little about one of my favorite things ever. This gift was by far the most thoughtful "stuff"- type gift(something i really just don't need) I think i've ever been given in my life.

little background--
so like i said in a previous blog, i had a christmas list. The stuff i put on there pretty much consisted of books and cd's that i was planning on buying for myself if i didn't get them for Christmas.

my mom said she pretty much ignored the list and instead bought me something that I would NEVER have purchased for myself in a thousand years.

Calvin and Hobbes. The Complete Calvin and Hobbes set. Every single C & H comic ever written by Bill Watterson.

I grew up with Calvin and Hobbes. I have all the individual books. I've read all of them through at least twenty gazillion times. I could quite possibly finish a Calvin and Hobbes comic strip if you gave me the first line of it.

My mom was the one that first shared Calvin and Hobbes with me. I remember all the times growing up when i got a new Calvin and Hobbes book through the school book order. i would have read most of the book before the day was out at school. I would come home and point out my favorite strips to whomever was in the house. Mom was the most likely to share a good chuckle with me. Mom and I reading Calvin and Hobbes could kind of be seen as the equivalent of a father and son going to baseball games together. It brought back so many memories.

so yes. a very cool gift.

if you haven't read Calvin and Hobbes before, please let me know. we can get together and read an AMAZING comic strip.

have an awesome day guys :)
-dave

p.s. if you have read Calvin and Hobbes, I'm interested to know everyone's favorite book. I think mine is probably "Homicidal Psycho Jungle Cat" with "The Days are Just Packed" and "There's Treasure Everywhere" tying for second.

today...

2005-12-20T19:36:00.000-06:00

So I've read two and a 3/4 books so far. The Great Divorce, The Screwtape Letters (and Screwtape proposes a toast), and did a history major type of reading(meaning i read for the main points) of a wilderness book my mom gave me. Really good stuff. I think The Great Divorce might be up there as one of my favorites. I finished Screwtape this morning and loved a lot of the stuff in it. Lewis is the man! There was one section that just hit home with me so much.

For those of you who haven't read it, the Screwtape letters is a collection of letters from one devil to another. The "Enemy" is God to Screwtape.

"My Dear Wormwood,
I am delighted to hear that your patient's age and profession make it possible, but by no means certain, that he will be called up for military service. We want him to be in the maximum uncertainty, so that his mind will be filled with contradictory pictures of the future, every one of which arouses hope or fear. There is nothing like suspense and anxiety for barricading a human's mind against the Enemy. He wants men to be concerned with what they do; our business is to keep them thinking about what will happen to them.

Your patient will, of course, have picked up the notion that he must submit with patience to the Enemy's will. What the Enemy means by this is primarily that he should accept with patience the tribulation which has actually been dealt out to him--the present anxiety and suspense. It is about this that he is to say "Thy will be done", and for the daily task of bearing this that the daily bread will be provided. It is your business to see that the patient never thinks of the present fear as his appointed cross but only of the things he is afraid of. Let him regard them as his crosses: let him forget that, since they are incompatible, they cannot all happen to him, and let him try to practise fortitude and patience to them all in advance. For real resignation, at the same moment, to a dozen different and hypothetical fates, is almost impossible, and the Enemy does not greatly assist those who are trying to attain it: resignation to present and actual suffering, even where that suffering consists of fear is far easier and is usually helped by this direct action."

The Screwtape Letters
-C.S. Lewis

Now's one of those times when it's easy for me to worry about the future. Sometimes it isn't easy to say "Thy will be done." It means that I have to admit defeat. It means that I can't figure it out anymore.

It means that He's in control and I'm not.

Hard pill to swallow. A big pride shot. It's so funny that it always seems so difficult. Even though he's always proven himself faithful. I spent the whole freaking semester in Joshua...God's faithfulness is like a huge theme. I guess it didn't register with me very well lol. The truth remains. He is faithful. He always has been. He always will be.

These words are so easy to type but so difficult to digest sometimes. When everything just seems hopeless, out of control, spinning around and moving every which way, the last thing i want to do is focus on something or someone other than myself. But it's in those times, as Screwtape points out, that all we have to do is just let go and say "Thy will be done."

Letting go...Living on faith and trusting that He knows what He is doing. I need these things...

i loved this book and am very much enjoying the works of CS Lewis.

In other news...it's cold up here. Snow is everywhere and it is quite beautiful. My days have consisted of sleeping in, guitar playing, basketball playing, reading, eating and watching my sister play basketball.

Learning a lot about myself and am thinking about what it means to trust Him with my life...my present and future. I miss you guys a lot but i am enjoying some time away from the busy work of school. I am waiting in expectation for a blog about Jeff's Christmas party! someone do it!

have a good one guys :)
-dave

happy 64th!!!

2005-12-17T22:13:00.000-06:00

Hey look!!! celebrate!!! it's my 64th post!! man has it been fun thus far. i've laughed, i've cried, and lets face it...i've had a great time.

why are 50 and 100 the best numbers? I don't understand. i've decided that 64 is a better blog milestone than 50 or 100. everyone please feel free to share your milestones involving the number 64. i bet you'll have like 6400000000000000000000 of them.

Yeah i made it to minnesota. It's pretty cold. there's a lot of snow.

AND I AM SO GLAD TO SEE MY FAMILY

i hopped out of the car when we got in from Duluth, dropped my stuff off in the house, and went straight over to the church to play a little basketball with emily. good times. now it's late, it's quiet and my mom is reading on the couch.

it's quiet.

I've needed quiet. I've gotten quieter as the semester has gone on but i feel like real, alone quiet time has not been had very much this semester. I get so caught up in myself and other things that make my mind run around.

so now my cell phone has no reception, the tv is OFF and no one knows my home phone number ;) (it rarely gets answered anyway so there's really no point)

basically computer/internet/email/blog are going to be the main line of communication over the break. John seems to think that his blog is now devoted to that. Personally i'm cool with that, but i don't know why it would be his blog and not mine...;)

In other news, i'm currently reading The Great Divorce by C.S. Lewis. I actually only have like 5 pages left.

It is quite amazing. I love his style of writing. I dont feel like describing it so just read his books. I think i'm the last one to start getting serious about reading his books. i read the narnia series when i was younger. I thought they were ok but didn't like them near as much as i liked the Redwall, Star Wars and Lord of the Rings books (my favorite fictional series). i figure i'll have time to pound them(narnia books) out over break considering my current pace is 1 book per day :).

well that's pretty much it. stay safe, warm and well. i'm sitting next to a fire with a book, a loving mother, father and an even more loving Father who has poured out so many undeserved blessings on me and my family. you guys are definitely some of the biggest of those undeserved blessings. I love you guys and am so thankful for the time spent learning, sharing and growing w/ you this semester. I'm definitely here, now. But i'm also definitely excited about being w/ you guys again next semester.

-dave

"'you are heartless. everyone is heartless. the past was all i had.'

'It was all you chose to have. It was the wrong way to deal with sorrow. It was Egyptian--like embalming a dead body.'

'Oh of course. I'm wrong. Everything I say or do is wrong, according to you.'

'But of course!!' said the Spirit, shining with love and mirth so that my eyes were dazzled. 'That's what we all find when we reach this country. We've all been wrong! That's the great joke. There's no need to go on pretending one was right! After that we begin living.'"

The Great Divorce
by CS Lewis

what did you learn?

2005-12-16T23:15:00.000-06:00

It's the end of the semester. woot.

This was by far my hardest semester thus far. Lots of school work and just enough actual work.

What I learned in my classes:

-the first attempt at constructing a railroad began with rails at the top of a hill (attempt at transporting coal which was also at the top of the hill). It ended up with the train engine getting to the bottom of the hill and crashing straight into a river (also at the base of the hill). ...lol

-Weber's work is actually not a bad read when compared to Marx, Engels, etc.

-psych courses continue to be amazingly easy courses :)

-The Cold War was ridiculously stupid.

-the Sixties really don't make much sense

---and the most ridiculous quote ever. this was actually frequently aired on television during the campaign.----

"I'm running against an actor, and you know who shot Lincoln, don't cha?"

-Edmund "Pat" Brown on a TV commercial during his campaign (Reagan's 1966 opponent for Governor of California)

...wow

flyin' out tomorrow morning. avoiding packing right now. bracing myself for some REAL cold weather...

have a good one guys :)
-dave

Christmas

2005-12-14T22:14:00.000-06:00

sigh...i'm giving in. I too feel the need to share my thoughts on this subject.

The Christmas spirit--

Everyone is talking about whether we should be giving or not giving... saying merry christmas or happy holidays...so on so forth...

I agree that one way we can definitely be celebrating the life of Jesus Christ is to be giving to one another. I strongly believe that one of the main teachings of Jesus Christ was the idea of humbling and sacrificing ourselves for others in any and every way possible. The pastor at our church went through Mark one Sunday and asked us to write "service" next to any verse that applied. It was quite awesome to see how many times he served people. Many undeserved gifts were given. Jesus was an amazing giver.

Unfortunately we stop there. We forget that Christ met needs. I see nothing wrong with sharing gifts with family members and friends but i feel like we've made this thing a little ridiculous.

I got to write a Christmas list to my family.

A Christmas list?!

I know i'm not the only one who was asked what I wanted for Christmas. That in and of itself shows me that the holiday has become quite selfish. I have no needs to be met. The gifts i'm given are expected. I wait about a month before Christmas and then i started stocking up on gifts for everyone i know because i love them and because i know that they love me and would do the same for me. I am not sure i've necessarily reached a "giving" sort of heart. I ask what people want and send out my Christmas list. I simply desire more stuff and Christmas is another means through which i can attain it. Sure i feel loved when i get things. Any time that someone acknowledges me and does something for me is going to be a time in which i smile. I don't think the fact that my giving results in these things means that my giving is an indication of a heart of giving or a spirit of sacrifice. I guess I totally believe that giving gifts is an amazing thing and i also believe that giving gifts to others because of the ultimate gift of Christ is a great idea. I'm just struggling with what it has become. We aren't meeting needs and our gifts are for the most part no longer sacrifices, simply really nice gestures.

So i've talked about meeting needs and yet i've said that it's still cool to give gifts to friends and family. what the crap do i give my family then?

I think there's even a model for what gift giving can be even if we don't have needs to be met--
I keep thinking of the time that Jesus was relaxing at Lazarus' place with Mary and Martha. Mary pulls out some amazing perfume and proceeds to wipe Jesus' feet with her hair.

Jesus didn't need that.

But He delighted in the way she actually humbled herself to serve him. Her heart was in the right place. I've never even touched my sister's feet. I don't think i've even cleaned my sisters' rooms before. I know i've never done it with my hair (lol what an interesting sight that would be). I've never picked up their dirty clothes (yes the underwear would have to come too) from their room. I certainly haven't done my parents' laundry very often and have avoided cleaning the toilet whenever it's cleaning time.

To me, those are things that have more to do with the Christmas spirit than the accumulation of more stuff. I'll be honest -- my heart is not in the right place for this Christmas. This blog is as much for me as it would be for any "discussion" with anyone else. I've only been thinking about what to buy for my family rather than actually taking the time to humble myself. Spending the money is not a big sacrifice.

But it would hurt if i actually cleaned the church for my folks over break. It certainly would be more uncomfortable. It would hurt to loan my car to someone or sacrifice some sleep time in order to spend time with someone who needed to talk. and i think that is more of the point of Christmas. I think we're way off the mark. As long as we have Christmas lists, "buy buy buying," "give, give giving," and can only think of things to buy for each other rather than taking the time to humble ourselves before our gift recipients, than something will be terribly out of place.

--my contribution to the "greetings" discussion---
I'm not sure I see much of a point in saying Merry Christmas to everyone I see. To me that's the equivalent of saying "Jesus loves you" to everyone I see. I just feel like this whole debate about what we should be saying really takes the focus off of building relationships with people. If the first thing i say to a person to whom i want to witness is "Merry Christmas," i'm not sure many people will be receptive or would even be given an opportunity to understand Christ's love. They only would've been fed a cheap, overused, overmarketed slogan as it exists today. However, if i instead take the time to meet their needs (from feeding them to actually spending time with them) and build a relationship with the person, i think i would have a better chance at sharing the real love of Christ. If i'm not willing to do that with the person, what business do i have talking about my Savior in the first place? I just feel like when we start waging a war on what we're supposed to say to other people without the accompaniment of actions, we have already lost the point.

The point is people. It is not words. It's being willing to be uncomfortable...to be willing to be humbled. It's being just as willing to sacrifice time for a person as i would be to give them money and words.

And it isn't always easy. Sharing real, genuine love isn't easy.

Short slogans are easy and require no effort. Buying gifts for people is easy. If they are not preceded by investment rooted in humility, then little has been offered.

I have such a hard time typing these things because it makes me uncomfortable just looking at my own words. I am so guilty of trying to convince people that Jesus loves them by feeding them words. I'm so guilty of "demonstrating" my love by buying my sister a cd (rather than taking the time to play basketball with her). I don't think the love of Jesus worked like that and i don't think those are the types of gifts we should bring. I also don't think our words and greetings mean much without real labor behind them. I'm sorry to all of you guys for the times that i've fed you b.s. rather than built relationships with you. I don't ever want to say "Jesus loves you" to someone and then walk away. I don't ever want to say "Merry Christmas" to someone whom i've never asked to eat dinner or hang out with me. Please don't let me feed you that.

I love you guys and i'm thankful for discussion. I hope that we continue to examine the perfect love of our Father made evident through Jesus Christ. i hope you guys know that i desire to grow closer in love with each of you because of Him. it's easy for my pride to get in the way during these discussions so i have a hard time participating. I hope this was loving and i hope that my words will be matched by my actions more and more each day. If they are not...then please please please kick me in the shins or something.

thanks guys
-dave

crazy...

2005-12-13T12:27:00.000-06:00

I'm so thankful for the guys in my small group this semester. They've all been very very cool. We finished Joshua two weeks ago so we decided to go through the first two chapters of Matthew last week. It was really good. The guys really were engaging in this stuff and started asking some really great questions. Somewhere in there we started talking about how important the old testament scriptures are and how much there is to be gained from studying them. We started talking about how Jesus was a Jewish Rabbi who really knew his stuff. I mean you look at Him even as a kid and he was freaking out the people in the temple with His open mind and heart for scripture (check out Mark 2:41-ish). It was brought up that many of the things he said were direct quotes or references to scripture. Our group found it very interesting how much meaning is added to what Jesus said when it is read in its original context.

Sabo(one of the guys in the group) brought up Mark 15:34. He said that we really don't ever think about what this meant. It always just seemed like a weak moment on the cross for Jesus. He then told us to look at the foot note and turn to Psalm 22.

Psalm 22

For the director of music. To the tune of "The Doe of the Morning." A psalm of David.

¹ My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
Why are you so far from saving me,
so far from the words of my groaning?

² O my God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer,
by night, and am not silent.

³ Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One;
you are the praise of Israel. ^[a]

⁴ In you our fathers put their trust;
they trusted and you delivered them.

⁵ They cried to you and were saved;
in you they trusted and were not disappointed.

⁶ But I am a worm and not a man,
scorned by men and despised by the people.

⁷ All who see me mock me;
they hurl insults, shaking their heads:

⁸ "He trusts in the LORD;
let the LORD rescue him.
Let him deliver him,
since he delights in him."

⁹ Yet you brought me out of the womb;
you made me trust in you
even at my mother's breast.

¹⁰ From birth I was cast upon you;
from my mother's womb you have been my God.

¹¹ Do not be far from me,
for trouble is near
and there is no one to help.

¹² Many bulls surround me;
strong bulls of Bashan encircle me.

¹³ Roaring lions tearing their prey
open their mouths wide against me.

¹⁴ I am poured out like water,
and all my bones are out of joint.
My heart has turned to wax;
it has melted away within me.

¹⁵ My strength is dried up like a potsherd,
and my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth;
you lay me ^[b] in the dust of death.

¹⁶ Dogs have surrounded me;
a band of evil men has encircled me,
they have pierced ^[c] my hands and my feet.

¹⁷ I can count all my bones;
people stare and gloat over me.

¹⁸ They divide my garments among them
and cast lots for my clothing.

¹⁹ But you, O LORD, be not far off;
O my Strength, come quickly to help me.

²⁰ Deliver my life from the sword,
my precious life from the power of the dogs.

²¹ Rescue me from the mouth of the lions;
save ^[d] me from the horns of the wild oxen.

²² I will declare your name to my brothers;
in the congregation I will praise you.

²³ You who fear the LORD, praise him!
All you descendants of Jacob, honor him!
Revere him, all you descendants of Israel!

²⁴ For he has not despised or disdained
the suffering of the afflicted one;
he has not hidden his face from him
but has listened to his cry for help.

²⁵ From you comes the theme of my praise in the great assembly;
before those who fear you ^[e] will I fulfill my vows.

²⁶ The poor will eat and be satisfied;
they who seek the LORD will praise him—
may your hearts live forever!

²⁷ All the ends of the earth
will remember and turn to the LORD,
and all the families of the nations
will bow down before him,

²⁸ for dominion belongs to the LORD
and he rules over the nations.

²⁹ All the rich of the earth will feast and worship;
all who go down to the dust will kneel before him—
those who cannot keep themselves alive.

³⁰ Posterity will serve him;
future generations will be told about the Lord.

³¹ They will proclaim his righteousness
to a people yet unborn—
for he has done it.

Suddenly this "weak moment" on the cross meant so much more to me. I mean you could go on and on about how David describes Jesus' circumstances in a freakishly accurate way, but I think there was something else that really blasted my heart when i read it.

I've been asking myself over and over...was He worshipping?!?!? Maybe this gives more insight into Jesus' heart. I think our Savior was still worshiping God in His last breath. He was obviously physically too weak and in too much pain to be in one of those happy go-lucky "i love everything" moods that i sometimes try to associate with worship (upon further review i am not convinced that worship is always going to involve smiling). But the man was still completely sold out to His Father's work. It didn't make sense and certainly hurt. Yet He still set the perfect example for a perfect life of faith and abandonment to God.

I can't get over this psalm.

have a good one guys
-dave

i heart herschel

2005-12-12T17:29:00.000-06:00

kind of to answer Herschel's question--

so i realized that i don't enjoy playing with code for my template all that much. since it's not something i really like to do, i decided to stop putting all the graphical type stuff up. some people really enjoy learning about code and stuff for blogger. I am realizing i'm not one of those people.

call me lazy or whatever you like, but i felt like i was just doing it for attention. sorry about that.

had i enjoyed putting the stuff up, i think it would've been different. so yes...enjoy the graphical goodness of blogs that are run by people who have a genuine interest in computers and the internet. Matt and Drew have some really cool blogs as I'm sure most of you know. check those out if you haven't by now!! they're quite cool. i'll definitely continue to post but i can't promise very much of the flashy stuff.

this is really random but was a pretty interesting tidbit:

"For by one offering he hath perfected for ever them that are sanctified." Hebrews 10:14

"We trample the blood of the Son of God under foot if we think we are forgiven because we are sorry for our sins. The only explanation of the forgiveness of God and of the unfathomable depth of His forgetting is the death of Jesus Christ. Our repentance is merely the outcome of our personal realization of the Atonement which He has worked out for us. "Christ Jesus . . . is made unto us wisdom, and righteousness, and sanctification, and redemption." When we realize that Christ is made all this to us, the limitless joy of God begins in us. And wherever the joy of God is not present, the death sentence is at work.

no matter who or what we are, God restores us to right standing with Himself only by means of the death of Jesus Christ. God does this, not because Jesus pleads with Him to do so but because He died. It cannot be earned, just accepted. All the pleading for salvation which deliberately ignores the Cross of Christ is useless. It is knocking at a door other than the one which Jesus has already opened. We protest by saying, "But I don't want to come that way. It is too humiliating to be received as a sinner." God's response, through Peter, is "there is no other name...by which we must be saved." (Acts 4:12). What at first appears to be heartlessness on God's part is actually the true expression of His heart. There is unlimited entrance His way. "In Him we have redemption through His blood..." (Ephesians 1:7). And to identify with the death of Jesus Christ means that we must die to everything that was never a part of Him."

-Oswald Chambers

challenging and good stuff.
have an awesome day guys.
good luck with finals!!
-dave

only love will

2005-12-09T01:11:00.000-06:00

love this song.

"When the darkness swirls around me
and its starting to settle down
here among the shadows of the evening
so i'm startin' to wonder about
the shape by soul is in

and they say only time will tell
but i say time will never take me
to that secret place i love
where my mind is free to play with
just what i might become
if i let go of everything that i've been holdin'
and i reach out fof help

Because I, I can't get my broken heart to mend
The tears I cry, they never wash away my sin
All the strength I might find, will never heal
this soul of mine, only Love will
Only His Love will

So now i'm hopin that the spirit
will hang me out to dry
that i will listen and i'll hear him
and he will draw me to his side
and when i press my heart to his
I will find my room to breathe
with the breath that comes from heaven
and the peace we find in prayer
from Grace that's oh so ancient
but still i know it's always here
to lift my mind above all i've been doubtin'
and move me toward belief

Because I, I can't get my broken heart to mend
The tears I cry, they never wash away my sin
All the strength I might find, will still never heal
this soul of mine, only Love will
Only His Love will

"Only Love Will" - Mitch McVicker

have a good one guys
-dave

consider this...

2005-12-07T21:12:00.000-06:00

read this

Can't say i have much more to add. it is what has been goin through my mind lately as well.

definitely something we need to think about...

have a good one
-dave

pit corner...

2005-12-04T17:08:00.000-06:00

Play this game...

Pit by Winning Moves

Boardgames.com presents Pit.

Shout your deal and trade your cards to "corner" the market. Be the first to get all the cards of one commodity, slap the "Corner!" board and you'll win the hand. You'll feel like a trader in the "pits" of the exchange! Beware of the Bear and take your chances with the Bull.

...or you'll feel like an idiot yelling at the top of your lungs for five minutes trying to find a freakin soybean. sheesh

this game rules. Seriously....

pictures from anyone who played this game would be greatly appreciated...*cough* jeff *cough*

have a good one guys...
-dave

His love...

2005-11-30T20:42:00.000-06:00

I have homework but I'm not ready to do it yet...

this is all i've been thinking about tonight...

With the recent onslaught of marriages i would assume it is easy for most of us single people to start getting more than a little lonely. I think i'm at the age where it's really easy to start looking hard for a relationship. I confess i've spent much of my life on that boat. it was a rush at times and at other times it was very painful to pursue that course.

I hope i'm not the only one that has, at some point, asked the question "will I be "alone" forever?"

I have to be honest. I want a wife. I think it would be awesome. Rather than beat around the bush, tonight as i was walking to the library I thought to myself how much I needed a female to talk to. I let a few things get to me today that impacted the way i thought of people, and i became angry at how stupid i was for it. I was frustrated to the point where my emotions started running haywire. I wanted someone to be with me...to just hold me for a while. It's one of those things that you just don't want to talk to a guy about...it's more of for a mom type discussion or for another female. I wanted just to be emotional in front of a girl because i thought she would understand more.

and something in my mind wouldn't allow that one to stick.

so backtrack a little---I've been thinking a lot lately on how i should depend on God. I've wanted to completely rely on God lately. I've wanted to let Him be my supply in absolutely everything.

...I think God wasn't waiting on my words as much as He was waiting for their application to my life.

Obviously "total dependence" (as an excellent friend of mine puts it) is not coming easily as I deal with my pride and what I tell Him I need. I'm not exactly someone who has this whole thing figured out in any way shape or form. But even though i don't understand(and just downright suck at it at times), I have to believe i can rely on Him for everything. Don't think i'm a great source to know what it means to put this into practice on a day to day basis, but i think I have to try.

I have to believe that this applies to relationships. I desired love so badly tonight--the emotional type love...the love that comes from a sort of tenderness that you just sometimes can't see in guy friends. Not that it isn't there in guy frienships...I've experienced it on several occasions w/ some awesome guy friends, but usually, that tender love just isn't expressed the same way w/ guys that it is from girls.

If He truly is Lord of all creation, of water, earth and sky, then He has to be capable of providing everything we need. If I really want to draw closer to Him-- If I really want to develop a truly intimate relationship with the one Being that I so boldly claim matters most in my life (definitely not always the case as much as i wish it were), I think I have to believe that He loves me first. I have to believe that He can be absolutely everything to me and that He loves me completely. If i don't believe that first, what sort of god am i dealing with? I have on countless occasions dealt with this sort of boxed-in god rather than the uncontainable, holy God of the universe.

I dunno...I just feel like it's another question for me of "what or whom am i chasing after?" I want to try to allow God to provide me with everything i need. it seems like that would mean i had the opportunity to come to Him first for the tender love i needed tonight. If that meant that he would work through a female on this fine evening to listen to me, after I told Him that I desired love, then that's great. But if that meant that He would only make Himself available for an intimate conversation, then it seems as though I need to allow Him to be my lover. the point that seemed to hit home tonight was that i needed to chase Him first and trust in His love first.

trust...i want to trust that He is faithful, loving and in control. I want to trust that He will not abandon me and trusts me with what He's given me on this very day. Today that is me being a college student. Today that is me living in Marigold 1 in Springfield, Illinois. Today that is me being single.

and today He loves me more than anyone here could.

I have to believe that I don't need a female. I have to believe that I need Him. I'm starting(quite freakin slowly i might add) to see marriage as a blessing from God rather than a need to be filled (meaning it comes on His time rather than mine if it is going to come at all). I think I've limited God to only be capable of filling certain needs. The companionship i desire, the acceptance i so desperately crave, can and should come first from Him. By no means is this always easy because i think i get selfish. I think i start demanding blessings from Him.

I think I miss that He has proven His love is the best in so many ways. He has blessed me with a life in which I have the opportunity to know Him--the King of the Universe. He went further to make sure I didn't have to be on par with Him to build this relationship by loving me so much that He gave up HUGE glory to die for our love.

I get so numb to that fact. I think i did tonight for sure. Thank God that He pursues us.

thank You that even though You could have just stopped right at sacrificing Yourself, You instead stayed with us and are now living with us...dwelling in our hearts...ready, waiting, and more than capable to be our everything.

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,^[m] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, ³⁹neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord."
Romans 8:38,39

this is hard for me a lot of times but He has always proven Himself faithful...I guess this is another case of me just being somewhere in the middle of trusting.

have a good one guys :)
-dave

bleating of sheep...

2005-11-29T03:13:00.000-06:00

1 Samuel 15

¹ Samuel said to Saul, "I am the one the LORD sent to anoint you king over his people Israel; so listen now to the message from the LORD. ² This is what the LORD Almighty says: 'I will punish the Amalekites for what they did to Israel when they waylaid them as they came up from Egypt. ³ Now go, attack the Amalekites and totally destroy ^[a] everything that belongs to them. Do not spare them; put to death men and women, children and infants, cattle and sheep, camels and donkeys.' "

⁴ So Saul summoned the men and mustered them at Telaim—two hundred thousand foot soldiers and ten thousand men from Judah. ⁵ Saul went to the city of Amalek and set an ambush in the ravine. ⁶ Then he said to the Kenites, "Go away, leave the Amalekites so that I do not destroy you along with them; for you showed kindness to all the Israelites when they came up out of Egypt." So the Kenites moved away from the Amalekites.

⁷ Then Saul attacked the Amalekites all the way from Havilah to Shur, to the east of Egypt. ⁸ He took Agag king of the Amalekites alive, and all his people he totally destroyed with the sword. ⁹ But Saul and the army spared Agag and the best of the sheep and cattle, the fat calves ^[b] and lambs—everything that was good. These they were unwilling to destroy completely, but everything that was despised and weak they totally destroyed.

¹⁰ Then the word of the LORD came to Samuel: ¹¹ "I am grieved that I have made Saul king, because he has turned away from me and has not carried out my instructions." Samuel was troubled, and he cried out to the LORD all that night.

¹² Early in the morning Samuel got up and went to meet Saul, but he was told, "Saul has gone to Carmel. There he has set up a monument in his own honor and has turned and gone on down to Gilgal."

¹³ When Samuel reached him, Saul said, "The LORD bless you! I have carried out the LORD's instructions."

¹⁴ But Samuel said, "What then is this bleating of sheep in my ears? What is this lowing of cattle that I hear?"

¹⁵ Saul answered, "The soldiers brought them from the Amalekites; they spared the best of the sheep and cattle to sacrifice to the LORD your God, but we totally destroyed the rest."

¹⁶ "Stop!" Samuel said to Saul. "Let me tell you what the LORD said to me last night."
"Tell me," Saul replied.

¹⁷ Samuel said, "Although you were once small in your own eyes, did you not become the head of the tribes of Israel? The LORD anointed you king over Israel. ¹⁸ And he sent you on a mission, saying, 'Go and completely destroy those wicked people, the Amalekites; make war on them until you have wiped them out.' ¹⁹ Why did you not obey the LORD ? Why did you pounce on the plunder and do evil in the eyes of the LORD ?"

²⁰ "But I did obey the LORD," Saul said. "I went on the mission the LORD assigned me. I completely destroyed the Amalekites and brought back Agag their king. ²¹ The soldiers took sheep and cattle from the plunder, the best of what was devoted to God, in order to sacrifice them to the LORD your God at Gilgal."

²² But Samuel replied:
"Does the LORD delight in burnt offerings and sacrifices
as much as in obeying the voice of the LORD ?
To obey is better than sacrifice,
and to heed is better than the fat of rams.

²³ For rebellion is like the sin of divination,
and arrogance like the evil of idolatry.
Because you have rejected the word of the LORD,
he has rejected you as king."

²⁴ Then Saul said to Samuel, "I have sinned. I violated the LORD's command and your instructions. I was afraid of the people and so I gave in to them. ²⁵ Now I beg you, forgive my sin and come back with me, so that I may worship the LORD."

²⁶ But Samuel said to him, "I will not go back with you. You have rejected the word of the LORD, and the LORD has rejected you as king over Israel!"

²⁷ As Samuel turned to leave, Saul caught hold of the hem of his robe, and it tore. ²⁸ Samuel said to him, "The LORD has torn the kingdom of Israel from you today and has given it to one of your neighbors—to one better than you. ²⁹ He who is the Glory of Israel does not lie or change his mind; for he is not a man, that he should change his mind."

I think the times when I am fully aware that I am in a positition to say/do something that glorifies God are when I'm probably least effective. The reason I say that is because I think I make it about me. I say I want to glorify God when in reality I want to glorify me in the process. It's not that God isn't on my mind, it's just that I have bleating sheep left in the pasture still that I haven't let out.

I think that is what is so beautiful about the times when we have absolutely no idea that God has used us for something. I would imagine that he loves working in those ways because we're ignorant to the ways he is using us. We aren't given the opportunity to be stupid and try to take the glory from an all-knowing and all-powerful God.

well it's late...i'm headed to bed. I just got done trying out my new set of hair clippers. I half grew a beard over thanksgiving but i have work tomorrow so i shaved it off. Hopefully i can learn how to cut my own hair so i can survive once jen davis leaves. :) we'll see...

have a great night guys
-dave

Tea party at my place

2005-11-22T19:06:00.000-06:00

Green freakin tea, my friends.

Not the bagged tea. We're talkin' leaf stuff. My sister introduced this stuff to my mom, who in turn introduced it to me the other day. It tastes soooooo good. It's cheap too!!! It comes in a variety of sizes, but always in some sort of tin. There are like 20 gazillion flavors and they all have descriptions so that the buyer knows what they're getting themselves into. You use one of those little tea balls to hold the leaves...or the website sells tea pots with a little leaf holder for like 7 bucks. My favorite feature is their sampler packs. It seems as though one of the little tins would be enough for a group of 4-5 people. You get six of those little tins in a sampler. Just the right size.....so it's perfect for tea parties! and you know how much we all love tea parties right?

eh?..... .....eh?.....

ok fine. word on the street is that tea parties aren't popular anymore. Girls are too busy with their foofoo coffee and guys either think it's a sissy drink, or won't admit that they like it.

sigh...whatever happened to tea parties?

I'm bringing them back. Tea parties are gonna be back...and they're not gonna be limited to females. I'm gonna start some MANLY tea parties too. We'll watch football and drink tea and tell fart jokes...

...it'll be great.

....

Mandarin Green Tea

"Green tea from China with the delicate flavors of orange and cinnamon. A happy marriage of great taste and proven health benefits. Just the right touch of added flavors to liven up the cup. Makes a light and refreshing drink that's popular both hot and iced. If you are new to green tea, this lightly flavored tea may be a good place to begin."

i never thought i would ever say "tea party at my place"

-dave

something to think about anyway

2005-11-22T13:39:00.000-06:00

The Darfur Peace and Accountability Act (H.R. 3127 in the House, S. 1462 in the Senate) passed in the Senate. Now onto the House...

This article is quite disturbing and very challenging. I've been a fan of Kristof because he has made a point to cover this situation when most of the media wouldn't touch it with a ten foot pole.

By NICHOLAS D. KRISTOF

Published: November 22, 2005

Sudan's Department of Gang Rape - 11/22/2005

New York Times

When the Arab men in military uniforms caught Noura Moussa and raped her the other day, they took the trouble to explain themselves.

"We cannot let black people live in this land," she remembers them telling her, and they used racial epithets against blacks, called her a slave, and added: "We can kill any members of African tribes."

Ms. Noura is one of thousands of women and girls to be gang-raped in Darfur, as part of what appears to be a deliberate Sudanese government policy to break the spirit of several African tribes through mass rape.

This policy is shrewd as well as brutal, for the exceptional stigma of rape here often silences victims even as it terrorizes the entire population and forces people to flee.

Ms. Noura, 22, expected to be married soon, and the neighbors said she probably would have received a bride price of 30 cows. These days, they say, she will be lucky to find any husband at all - and will not get a single cow.

This is the first genocide of the 21st century, and we are collectively letting the Sudanese government get away with it. Sudan's leaders appear to have made a calculated decision that some African tribes in the Darfur region are more of a headache than the international protests that result when it depopulates large areas of those tribes. In effect, it is our acquiescence that allows the rapes and murders to continue.

The solution isn't to send American troops. But a starting point is to convey American outrage - loudly and insistently - and demonstrate that Darfur is an American priority.

Ms. Noura's saga began when the Sudanese Army and janjaweed militia burned down her village a year ago and killed her father. She and her family fled here to Kalma, but she is the eldest child and needed money to support her younger brothers and sisters.

So she ventured out of Kalma to cut grass in the nearby fields to sell. That was when the men raped and beat her, leaving her unable to walk home.

Rape leads to particular injuries in Darfur because many girls, as part of female circumcision rites, have their vaginas sewn shut with a wild thorn. The resulting physical trauma from rape also increases the risk of H.I.V. transmission. In addition, the attackers sometimes rape women with sticks or bayonets, causing internal injuries that leave the victims incontinent.

Sudan has backed off a bit in response to protests about the rapes, and it has stopped arresting women who go to foreign aid workers to seek medical treatment. But the rapes themselves are continuing, unabated. The Sudanese police and military are everywhere in the area, but they don't secure the fields outside the camp where the attacks take place.

In just one of eight sectors in Kalma, I found three women who acknowledged on the record that they had been gang-raped this month within a few days of each other.

Arifa Muhammad, 25, told of being caught by 10 men as she planted okra to have a little more food for her three children. One of the men said, "I know you are Zaghawa, so we will rape you." Afterward, they beat her with the butts of their guns.

The very next day, Saida Abdukarim, also 25, was tending her vegetables when three men with guns seized her. She pleaded with them, pointing out that she is eight months' pregnant.

"They said, 'You are black, and so we can rape you,'" she recalled. Then they gang-raped her and beat her with sticks and their guns. She absorbed the beating, trying to protect her unborn baby, and although she was too battered to walk, she has so far not miscarried.

To me, Ms. Noura, Ms. Arifa and Ms. Saida are among the heroes of Darfur. There is no shame in being raped, but plenty of stigma should attach to those who ignore crimes against humanity. In my book, it's the politicians who don't consider genocide a priority who aren't worth a single cow.

These three women have the backbone to stand up and be counted. We in the West have so much less to lose, yet we can't even find our own voices. Let's hope that the courage of these three women may inspire President Bush, Kofi Annan and other world leaders finally to show a little more backbone and stand much more firmly against genocide.

retrieved from savedarfur.org on November 22, 2005

somethin to think about anyway...

have a good one guys
-dave

your MOM is lazy...

2005-11-21T14:55:00.000-06:00

So far so good. There has been a lot of relaxing going on up here on the rez. The whole family is together + Grandma so it has been really really good. I can't even describe how awesome it is to spend thanksgiving with my family again. I have plenty for which i should be thanking God on this thanksgiving!

...not that i don't at any other point during the year, but you get what i mean...right?

Of course it snowed a day or two before we got here so there is snow on the ground. Surprisingly, it's melting today. It was like 40 degrees yesterday. But don't worry...snow is in the forecast for tonight and tomorrow. hooray snow...

So this is what our backyard looks like---snow and trees. If you look closely, the lake is beyond the trees. It's only a 3 minute walk to the lake from our backyard. During the summer the lake kind of turns the wooded area into a marsh type thing so we typically don't roam around back there. There are also quite a few bears that run around back there during the warmer months... so the winter is nice because we can walk around back there and look at the lake.

Do i even need to say anything? This picture is delightful. I mean...come on. How do you top a picture like this?

LOL ...with this one!!!!

My dad's birthday was on friday and he was really giddy because the whole family was actually there for it. I got him a UIS shirt and he loved it. Right now he is modeling his new shoes that Grandma got him. I could not believe that he actually posed for a picture. If you know my dad or have spent any time with him, you'll know that this is definitely a once in a life time type of picture.

So yes everything has been goin well. I have two papers written already and am waiting for my books to come in the mail so i can do a third. I've had a lot of time to reflect on stuff the past couple days and have been thinking a lot about trust. Don't really think there's much more to say except He has proven Himself to be completely trustworthy and yet for some reason i still resist. It has definitely been the story of my life...especially the past few months. It's ok though...I've been thinking a lot on "he who started a work will be faithful to complete it in you" and Romans 7 and 8.

some other thoughts--I'm very thankful for a change of scenery like this because i've been actually considering that He is everywhere. It's so easy for me to say that "oh yeah God is everywhere" but it's a whole different story to actually be in a different place and to be able to call upon the same never-changing God to whom i pray in Springfield.

As far as random things, my family time has been awesome and it has been even cooler because the bulk of my time with my family is some sort of ministry to the natives. So it's like a two in one type of deal. They started a thing at church on saturday nights called "saturday night live" where they open up the church and offer games and such. I met a cool kid named Elijah and I'm gonna try to invest in him. If you get the chance, it'd be awesome if you could pray for him :)

oh and dad and I played "free bird" together! Electric guitar is soooooo cool and I am soooooo terrible at it! Dad was totally busting out the solos from free bird on his most awesome Fender Telecaster. When i tried my hand at it, I realized that I am awful at it! It has really made me appreciate the talents of excellent guitar players such as Clapton, Page, the three guitar players from Lynyrd Skynyrd and Chaffer's lead guitarist in "To Chase Away the Birds" (I forget his name).

love you guys. watch the vikings game tonight! they're playing green bay!

ok i'm done :)
have a good one guys
-dave

i heart gretchen

2005-11-16T16:48:00.000-06:00

from gretchen's post the other day

"...I got to thinking about how listening to God and learning to let the holy spirit lead is kind of like that game. It's learning to see God and then match my life to fit in line with what He's doing. It's listening for the pitch, and then adjusting mine to match. And it doesn't come immediately.....after just 2 1/2 months, Sophia says she's ready to quit taking violin lessons. Is it because she doesn't like playing? No, she loves it when she can make the violin sound good....it's because it's hard. It requires practice. It doesn't always come easy or sound very good. But I know that if she sticks with it (at least for a little while longer), she's going to suddenly be able to play without so much help from me....she's going to enjoy playing for other people and knowing that what she's playing actually sounds like a song!

I'm hoping that day will come quickly for Sophia. For me, too....the more I look to see what God is doing, the easier to trust, the more natural it is to wait on Him. It takes practice. It doesn't come easy. But when it comes, the peace that comes with it is the big payoff."

i dont really have anything to add. i just think there's a lot of truth in it...

flying to minnesota on friday...could be fun.
get to spend thanksgiving w/ the 'rents for the first time in 3 years. woot! Vikings will definitely be on...i'll finally get to watch a game w/ dad. playing music w/ em and scott should be a blast. scott and i are totally gonna jam out--him on drums and me trying out the electric guitar that i am now DYING to play. emily and i are totally gonna jam out with...hymns at church :) could be fun! it WILL be fun!

could be FREEZING too...

have a good one guys
-dave

a family of fools

2005-11-15T23:40:00.000-06:00

Do I have enough compassion
Or have I sold out my Love
For the keeping of rules?

Am I so much in fashion
That I forgot I was born
To a family of fools?

God, hold me out of that water
Cause it’s such a shallow pool,
And the fall just might kill me

She was so pretty when she just walked by
It made me feel lonely
Lord, it just made me sigh

And when You’d rather wait, I’d rather fly
But I’m just now learning to walk
Oh, my my
Selah

And a lot of my friends seem to be
Runing around on the same fallow ground
Or is that me?

They don’t know
Cause I don’t show much at all
And when I fall, I fall alone
When I fall, I fall alone

So take my face in your hands
And tell me you love me
Tell me you love me

"such a shallow pool"
-Don Chaffer

I like that whole idea of being a fool. I love reading about David dancing in the street--being completely foolish.

Do i honestly seek after His love, or am i more concerned with keeping the rules? Am i willing to allow Him to strip me bare so that I am nothing more than a scantily clad fool dancing in the street? I haven't started that book on my sidebar by brennan manning yet. well...i read the preface, but nothing else yet. In his book "the ragamuffin gospel," he talks about a people of faith--- ragamuffins-- people who are completely broken, only seeking after God's acceptance and finding complete fulfillment from relying on God to shape us, direct us, love us and know us. being undignified...

Being in a family of fools.

I've found nothing that makes more sense than when i let go of my dignity and my self awareness. when i stop worrying about being in fashion

I complicate stuff a lot...maybe a little streaking wouldn't be a bad idea every now and then

...I'M KIDDING

I do think it's high time i started being a little more foolish though. i mean heck...we've got a Father, a Savior and a Friend with whom we will reside for eternity!

He's here right now...reading this dumb blog. yes...it's a dumb blog. And for some reason He'll read it. and He'll sit around my room with me while i avoid Him and type on my computer. why don't i rejoice in that like a fool more often? is the community i desire one in which we are a family of fools? have i become so stuck up? am i so much in fashion, that i forgot i was born to a family of fools?

i have no idea if any of that made sense...but it did to me. or maybe it didn't. and maybe that's good.

...wow i'm going to bed

have an awesome night guys
-dave

darn you matt wallace...

2005-11-12T14:54:00.000-06:00

interesting story...

So i love green tea. Some of you may already know this. Holly Reuter, (good friend of mine from work) has always hooked me up with green tea and it has always been amazing. Her grandmother owns an organic type store and so Holly always goes home and raids it for me and won't let me pay (sweet freakin deal). Well she brought me some more green tea on Friday and I was all excited because I had just run out of my favorite kind. As I was sitting there, telling everyone at work about how awesome this tea was, I thought it might not be a bad idea to share my favorite tea with the blog world as well. so I got online and started surfing a few blogs...

...and I see that matt wallace has a picture of his favorite tea up.

Now I love matt wallace. He's a cool guy...most of the time :). ...and he has a great blog. He has definitely helped me out with my blog quite a bit. He helped me out with a lot of the code stuff for my blog. I thought his idea of sharing music and books to others was a great idea so I put it on mine too. I love letting other people know about some of the stuff that has been encouraging me lately because I hope that it might encourage them as well.

so yeah...we have some similar stuff on our blogs.

but tea? I did NOT expect to see another suggestion for tea on anyone else's blog.

what the crap?

Are we twins? ...or are we both just really HUGE nerds?

Yeah probably the latter.

So anyway, even though Matt somehow beat me to the punch(it still creeps me out), I HAVE to share this tea with everyone. I drink it about as much as I drink water these days.

Green freakin tea. It's amazing. I would recommend it to anyone who gets stressed out over classes or anything else. Find a friend and spend an hour just drinking green tea together. I have a tea buddy (and no it is NOT matt) and the time we spend together is one of my most relaxing times of the week. It seems like we will find any excuse to have tea time.

so yes...

Try this stuff out. It is amazing.

do it...you'll be glad.

have a good one guys

-dave

good blog...

2005-11-09T17:02:00.000-06:00

Big fan of this post...

...check it out. it hit me hard.

-Dave

p.s. the vikings won!!!!

hi mom

2005-11-06T01:35:00.000-06:00

ok this one is kinda for mom...

we had the "tacky prom" this past weekend. It was so much fun. Jeff Black and Dale Vick and everyone else did an amazing job with putting it all together. It was by far the most fun i've ever had at a dance...

quick question...

i was told that i looked like Bill Cosby, Mr. Rogers, or some guy from saved by the bell. what do you guys think?

oh and i'd also like to point out Sabo's Magnum P.I. look. OBNOXIOUSLY BRIGHT!!!

oh and frazee's hat

...and JK's hockey stick cane...lol

and drew....well...*cough*...yes... :)

ok everyone looked amazing...especially KJ...he looked AWESOME. i wish i had a picture of him from fri. night. if anyone does could you please send it to me?

guys have a great night.
-dave

freedom

2005-11-03T16:36:00.000-06:00

this post is for me and for anyone who has read this thing for any length of time. i think it's kind of specifically in response to my own blog a couple days ago.
so yes, bear with me. i'm kind of writing this one for myself. i've journaled already with this one but i feel like i should put it in here too just so i could kind of round out my thought process based on what i've written on here.

deeds...expectations...guilt...shame...

so i thought that there were a lot of things of which i was not doing enough. i thought that it mattered that i wasn't doing something or that i was doing something. i was worried. i was trapped. i guess it matters, but these were things that i was letting come before one powerful truth...

...a truth of which i desperately needed to be reminded.

"It’s not my duty to die for the
sins I’ve committed
I’m allowed to run free
I’ve been fully acquitted"
-Don Chaffer

freedom. freedom in being in Him. freedom in understanding that the world is already His and that my expectations that i've set for myself, my "superdavid" (thanks Rob Bell) will never be reached. I will always fall short of my expectations for myself (not to mention of His perfection). I will always fall short.

maybe that is when i've submitted...when i simply try to use what i have to love. when i realize that i only have me, and not the "david" that i have envisioned for myself. maybe I've submitted when i stop concerning myself with being like someone or achieving some lofty "spiritual" goal and start living, loving the way i know how... right here, right now. with my head and hands and feet covered in blood.

i'm not sure anymore that submitting happens when i feel sad enough or when i've holed up in my room long enough. I don't think that embracing the guilt and shame over what i deserve makes me a more serious or better Christian (spiritual goal). obviously, this isn't to say that i shouldn't recognize and try to understand what i deserve.

but i'm not sure that i'm called to make much of sin...at least not to the extent that i should make much of Jesus.

The blood of the cross frees us. it is the beginning of something much bigger. a life in which i get to run free and be fully acquitted. a life without fear. a life where i can embrace His love and pass it on to others who desire it just as much as i do.

i needed to be reminded of these things. i'll always need to be reminded of these things.

His grace, love, faithfulness.

have a good one guys
-dave

p.s. the NBA season started this week...

p.s. 2---it still sucks :)

football rools!!!! :)

turdy goons

2005-11-02T00:09:00.000-06:00

ok two things:

1) Matt is a HUGE goon. I always knew that he was, but the most recent blog just kind of squashed any doubts. Thats right...I called him a goon...

...

and Herschel is still a turd :)

2)I'm reading Velvet Elvis by Rob Bell and am absolutely loving it. Read it! ...or borrow my copy! either one works. it's really challenging and thought provoking...I've definitely been needing it.

*cough*

alright alright...the huge goon may or may not be the one that recommended that book to me...

even still...

have a good night guys and goon
-dave

BOO YAHHH two cheap shots in one blog!

submission

2005-10-30T21:00:00.000-06:00

I haven't really posted very much "original" type stuff on here lately. I think it has been good that way. It's easy for me to get big headed about stuff and i realized i spent a lot of time trying sound good on here. not exactly a new revelation. I think I've said it on here before about how I haven't been very real. I've been trying to sort out how much of this blog thing is actually an honest look at me.

Tonight i don't have great words. I don't have a desire to impress anyone. I guess what I need is to just type some stuff out because I've been thinking a lot about it and want to look at it. And honestly, I don't know where else to put it. We'll see what happens. bear with me.

I've talked a lot to people about how important I think it is to completely lose control. I've talked about how great it is to simply rely on God. I've shot off my mouth, saying these things--things that I definitely believe. I believe that if the God we serve is as truly huge and in control as we claim He is(and more) then it would only make sense to lose control. It would only make sense to let go of ourselves and completely rely on a massively HUGE and in control God to love us, care for us, hold us, fill our lives, give us meaning, direct us, to glorify His name because we know that our Father is everything. Everything. Absolutely everything.

I desire it myself. I want to let Him be in control. I want so badly to always have Him be in control of my life...to always accept His love. I want to crawl up in His lap and simply be His child. How beautiful it would be to live this way. What an amazing way to live...to always trust.

But i was kind of shooting off my mouth i think.

i think there's something I miss a lot about this whole thing. I talk as though accepting this love is really easy. I'm not sure if i really totally believe that it is actually "easy." I'm not sure being in the state to truly and honestly accept it, and make much of it is always as easy.

I have to be broken. I have to submit. My life is a constant process: ...I become like a child. I love His love. I love Him. then...something. and then I love (insert something else). Over time, something grabs me. i start chasing after things for myself.

and then i go down hill.

Somewhere in there, something changed. somewhere in there i stopped chasing. i stopped dying to self. i stopped submitting. It's not that I don't believe in Him or don't want to follow Him, but somewhere i started making other things matter more. I stopped laying down my rights.

I feel like I'm there more than anywhere else. It's pretty miserable in some ways.

but during this time, it's weird. when i'm in this time, i notice something about myself. even though i get wrapped up in myself, i am aware of something else. I'm aware of something happening. I'm aware of ...something(excuse the repetition). During these times, I'm on fire. Every single time, I'm on fire. My body burns.

does anyone else know what that is like? to burn? to be in need of something more in a desperate sort of way?
..and everyone says a resounding (hopefully) "yes" to that. ok maybe that's an easy question. I guess it seems fairly obvious that i am burning to run after my Father and i'm consciously aware of the fact that I'm not. I'm allowing myself to get in the way. Ok...diagnosis...*check*

Cure: easy! everyone will say it!! It's to accept God and His love again!!!!

ok good i know what the cure is...

*check*

Thanks...I think that was pretty easy. So what is still wrong? At this point i haven't changed. why is it that nothing changes? what have i done? what do i have to do? i've been told that it is a gift. i can't do anything to deserve it. i can't do anything but accept it.

what does that mean? it seems sooo easy....

i know this is random. i guess what i'm saying is that it is so easy for me to tell everyone how easy it is accept God's love. i mean, it's always there. i can always take it. i can always choose to follow Him. He's perfectly faithful. He will always open His arms for me. He will kill the fatted calf when i come to Him. It's quite beautiful. It sounds easy.

But i think it's hard. not because of God...He's never changing. It's me. I make it hard. I have to choose to humble myself and return to that grace and that love. the prodigal son chose to walk the road back. He was willing to drop himself. he was willing to be a servant. I have a decision. it isn't easy. i have to let go of myself. I have to choose to die to myself daily.

Does anyone have such a ridiculously hard time letting go? I'm not just talking about once. I'm not talking about that initial decision to believe. I think I'm talking about the dying to self daily thing. That part seems pretty hard for me. It is not easy for me to let go. I dunno, maybe I try too hard. Maybe i make this too hard. maybe since this love is always available, i should just be able to accept it all the time. I should always need it. i dunno...to me that just feels like another *check*

Or maybe I'm supposed to struggle with this. I know that I burn more often than i submit. Regardless of whether that is "right" or "wrong," it's the truth. My "pursuit" of my Lord is simply not one at all. It's a crawl. especially lately...I've been nothing but burning lately. i've been in a constant fight against myself in so many different areas. areas that need to simply be dropped for Him. for some reason it's just really hard. it's a hard fight every day.

sounds pretty depressing. it makes me question whether i'm doing something wrong.

regardless of whether any of this is right or wrong, i think i'm learning a lot about His pursuit of us. it's kind of funny. it doesn't make sense to me. I chase after something else and I begin to burn. people enter my life and push me. reminders are shoved in my face. long story short, i'm noticing that since He is really big, really consistent and in every situation, I'm having a darn difficult time avoiding Him. And I'm finding a great deal of joy in that.

it kind of makes the things I chase after just a little less important. submitting still isn't easy, and i'm crawling a lot. but i guess i'm learning. and i've had friends, old and new, right along side me...sharing in struggles and joys. this whole community thing means a lot more than I ever thought it would.

i stumbled across this psalm today and I liked it.

"Praise the Lord, all you nations;
extol him, all you peoples.
For great is his love toward us,
and the faithfulness of the Lord endures forever.

Praise the Lord."

Psalm 117

sorry it was random.
have a good one guys
-dave

terrible, yet funny joke!

2005-10-28T21:42:00.000-05:00

My sister has her moments....this is one of her better ones. i loved it
:)

on a different note...my blog is cracked out. somewhere along the line when i was editing my template, something went haywire. the side bar is currently sitting on the very bottom of the page. i thought i had this whole template thing pretty well under control but i can't find the problem in the code...

...help?

cya!
-dave

the least of these...

2005-10-26T19:10:00.000-05:00

thanks Drew---

Situation in Darfur seriously degenerating, says Guterres

24 Oct 2005 16:57:21 GMT
Source: UN High Commissioner for Refugees

GENEVA, October 24 (UNHCR) – The UN High Commissioner for Refugees António Guterres has said that the situation in the Darfur region of Sudan is once again deteriorating sharply, and warned that a further calamity could take place there very soon, which might have "a devastating impact" on neighbouring countries as well as on the situation in other parts of Sudan.
"What we are witnessing on the ground is a very serious degeneration of the situation," he told reporters and other guests at an event in London to mark the international launch of a DVD of the 'Voices for Darfur' concert. "...It is extremely nasty, with ugly events."
The security situation has deteriorated tremendously within the past six weeks, especially in West Darfur, with ambushes, hostage-taking and attacks on villages as well as on the Aro Sharow camp for displaced people that left 34 displaced people and local villagers dead. Aid workers increasingly are the focus of attacks. Humanitarian agencies say this is seriously hampering their capacity to operate on the ground.
Guterres, who visited Darfur two months ago, said at that time he was optimistic that, though not easy, peace would be possible in Darfur, and that if it came about it would have a beneficial impact on the rest of the country.
"You have three different crises at the moment," he said. "South Sudan, where peace was established based on the sharing of oil revenues; you have Darfur, and you have eastern Sudan, where the implications are also in relation to the neighbours and the problem between Eritrea and Ethiopia."
"Darfur ... in my opinion is the key for success or failure for Sudan as a whole," he said. "If there is success in Darfur, it will have a positive impact for coordinating a peace agreement in the south and for allowing peace to develop in the east."
But the reverse, he warned, would probably produce the opposite result: "If it gets worse in Darfur, it will deteriorate, and even in the south the agreement will be weakened."
He expressed deep concern about the possible adverse effect on other countries in the region, especially Chad, which already hosts more than 200,000 Sudanese refugees from Darfur.
As a result of a number of recent security incidents, the UN decided on October 11 to relocate non-essential staff out of part of West Darfur as a precautionary measure. It is hoped that this is a temporary measure and work can resume in the near future. Much will depend on the extent to which the Sudanese government can guarantee security for displaced people and aid workers on its territory.
UNHCR has been present in West Darfur since June 2004, with offices in El Geneina, Zalinge, Mukjar and in Nyala (south Darfur). There are 37 international staff and 37 national staff working in those offices. Depending on the security situation, an additional five offices will be opened to enhance protection monitoring coverage and better assist the displaced people.
Guterres made his comment at an event to mark the launch off the DVD of a recent all-star charity concert on behalf of refugees from Darfur, and to thank the singers who took part.*
One of them, Greek opera star Mario Frangoulis, told UNHCR staff at the agency's headquarter in Geneva on Monday that his own planned visit to Darfur had been cancelled because of the security situation. However, he insisted he wants to keep "the flame alive," and spread awareness of the problem in Darfur and UNHCR's work there. All the artists who took part in the concert, as well as those such as Sade, David Gray and Franz Ferdinand, who contributed exclusive material to the DVD, were fully engaged he said and wanted to do what they could to draw attention to the plight of the victims of the Darfur concert.
Out of the $31 million required for UNHCR's activities in 2005, contributions of only $14.4 million have been so far received.

Reuters Alertnet
retrieved on October 26, 2005 from

when will we stop looking at people merely as political interests and start looking at them as...

...people? what will it take? how numb have we become?

"In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."
-MLKJ

-dave

hope...

2005-10-26T13:47:00.000-05:00

Lot has gone on since the last time I posted. I've been crazy busy and have been a part of some stuff of which i never thought God would have me be a part. To be honest, I was terribly frightened. I figured that if i were put in a position where other people were looking at me, i would let it go to my head. i am not sure how much of that actually happened, but I do have some peace knowing that God chooses to work regardless of what we do.

One of the songs we sang at csf last week kind of sums up what I seem to forget all too often. I love playing this song and was pretty excited when i got to sing and play it last friday with 50 other amazing people.

"We will dance"

Sing a song of celebration. Lift up a shout of praise.
For the Bridegroom will come
The glorious one
And oh, -- we will look on his face
We'll go -- to a much better place

Dance with all your might. Lift up your hands and clap for joy.
The time's drawing near -- when he will appear
And, oh, -- we will stand by His side
A strong, -- pure spotless bride

We will dance on the streets that are golden
The glorious bride and the great Son of man
From ev'ry tongue and tribe and nation
Will join -- in the song of the Lamb

Sing aloud for the time of rejoicing is near
The risen King, our groom, is soon to appear
The wedding feast to come is now near at last
Lift up your voice, proclaim the coming Lamb

yeeeeeeaah
i really just want to put exclamation marks after every single line of that song. i won't...cuz that might be obnoxious to some people. but still, won't heaven be fun?!? what an amazing hope we have!

p.s. that song is a lot of fun to play and was one of the first songs i learned when i started playing guitar...so i may be a little biased

...deal with it :P

have a great, hopeful day guys
-dave

words...

2005-10-17T01:37:00.000-05:00

i don't really have words right now. I haven't for a while.

"Your(my/our) attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus--

Who being in very nature God did not consider equality with God something to be grasped
but made himself nothing
taking the very nature of a servant being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man, he humbled himself and became obedient to death--even death on a cross!
therefore God exalted him to the highest place and gave him the name that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth
and every toungue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father."

Philippians 2:5-11

made himself nothing

i owe him everything

good night guys
-dave

an answered prayer

2005-10-10T23:54:00.000-05:00

I just really want to say thank you to all of you guys. thanks for your reminders to me of why i'm in this thing. thanks for accepting His love. It is a huge encouragement to me. I need all of you. Not on this blog thing, but in this life thing.

Jesus Prays for All Believers---
20"My prayer is not for (the disciples) alone. I pray also for those who will believe in me through their message, 21that all of them may be one, Father, just as you are in me and I am in you. May they also be in us so that the world may believe that you have sent me. 22I have given them the glory that you gave me, that they may be one as we are one: 23I in them and you in me. May they be brought to complete unity to let the world know that you sent me and have loved them even as you have loved me.

24"Father, I want those you have given me to be with me where I am, and to see my glory, the glory you have given me because you loved me before the creation of the world. 25"Righteous Father, though the world does not know you, I know you, and they know that you have sent me. 26I have made you known to them, and will continue to make you known in order that the love you have for me may be in them and that I myself may be in them."
John 17:20-26

Jesus Christ prayed for us to be together in this thing. you guys truly are an answered prayer.

good night
-dave

today

2005-10-06T18:44:00.000-05:00

darfurfast

tomorrow...

2005-10-05T22:57:00.000-05:00

-darfurfast is tomorrow. check it out. you don't have to claim a certain political party, religion, or any other group affiliation in order to take part in this. it's simply about humans helping other humans.

in other, less important news....

So I got a call monday night about an "emergency." Apparently Matt had an extra ticket to game 1 of the NLDS (Cardinals vs. Padres). His dad had bailed on him(not by choice, of course) and Matt was left with an extra ticket.

two games in three days? ...crazy. i'd never been to a postseason game before. it was absolutely crazy. It was so much fun. Reggie's grand slam was awesome. but I kind of wanted to smack Izzy at the end for giving up so many runs. oh well...whatever works, right? Cards won!

I felt bad because everyone was yelling at me for getting the ticket. i just want to set the record straight---I DID have to pay for the tickets. as much fun as it was, i probably dropped a little under a hundred on the two trips altogether(tickets, gas, ball park food, parking). this is not to say that i wouldn't do it again, but hopefully it puts it into perspective. there's a large dent in my wallet and i missed work and class. when i got to my night class(got back from the game a half hour before my night class), my brain was totally toasted. what made it even better was that i had to lead class discussion that night based on a paper i had written. fun times!

random: i bought Don Chaffer's "you were at the time for love" and i think it's my favorite of all the chaffer/waterdeep albums. the quality of music on this album is ridiculous. he incorporates a bunch of musical elements that are really unique and innovative. my dad is right in saying that this stuff is way ahead of its time...

oh, and the lyrics are hitting me hard-

"Eden Again"
by Don Chaffer

"He came rolling through the hills just to be with me
And I was young and I was pretty and I was free
It was before the time that I knew that I
Could make the rainclouds form in my spirit’s sky
It was before the time that what I wanted had to be
Tied to this old world and all its slavery

And life was like a dream
And everything was clean
And I was free.

Sometimes I wish that everything could’ve just ended there
That my body and my soul had been just caught up in the air
I’d have gone back to Him who’s shining everywhere
I would’ve drunk in all his water, and breathed in all his air
But I chose to eat my fruit and I chose to go my way
And I chose to throw my innocence away
And I’ve learned my lessons hard and I’ve learned my lessons well
And I have tasted all I care to taste of hell

I think I’m ready to return, to let the fires I started burn
I think I’m ready to be born again
I think I’m ready to return, to let the fires I started burn
I think I’m ready to be born again.

I’m gonna come rolling through the hills just to be with you
You’ll make me young and pretty again, You’ll make me free
And this time ‘round, ‘stead of trying to stand
I’ve decided to lean,
And let You wash me in Your blood,
and make me clean

Oh, and living out Your dream
Everything is clean
And I’ve become free"

I think one of the reasons why i love Don Chaffer's lyrics is because he doesn't sugar coat things. i see an honesty in his lyrics that is hard to come by these days. being real...

Chaffer sets a good example for me when it comes to this whole blog thing..

...and this whole life thing...

Honestly, for me right now, i'm trying (and usually making a fine mess of it) to just be still and lean on Him. I think i've made this whole thing way too complicated. this song is so huge for me because it points out that i don't really have to be afraid. i don't have to understand. i don't have to be learning a certain thing. i don't have to be caught up in everything. I can be be still, know He is God...and be free. i don't have to do anything except be free in Him.

don kind of sums up where i am right now--
"And this time ‘round, ‘stead of trying to stand
I’ve decided to lean"

have a great night guys
-dave

crazy

2005-10-03T16:27:00.000-05:00

Great weekend

Awesome retreat. Went to LGCA all weekend with CSF and had a blast. God is so good. i don't really know what else to say...

...sigh.

how bout this, rather than trying to say anything about God, i'll put a verse that has been hitting me really hard this weekend. it's a pretty familiar one, but i actually stopped and thought about it a little bit this weekend.

"For God so loved the world that He gave His one and only Son that whosoever should believeth in Him would not perish but have everlasting life."
John 3:16

I can always take refuge in His love...

in other less important(but still cool) news...

Sunday was pretty sweet

Matt and I went to the last regular season game that will ever be played at Busch Stadium. It was a great time. I have so many memories from Busch and will not soon forget yesterday's game. The crowd sang the national anthem without any professional singer or accompaniment. It was so cool. Toward the end of the song, one of those new fangled flying machines flew over the stadium...

it was quite cool.

oh and the Cards won! 100 wins baby!!!!

postseason time...woot

have a good one guys
-dave