freedom

this post is for me and for anyone who has read this thing for any length of time. i think it's kind of specifically in response to my own blog a couple days ago.
so yes, bear with me. i'm kind of writing this one for myself. i've journaled already with this one but i feel like i should put it in here too just so i could kind of round out my thought process based on what i've written on here.



deeds...expectations...guilt...shame...

so i thought that there were a lot of things of which i was not doing enough. i thought that it mattered that i wasn't doing something or that i was doing something. i was worried. i was trapped. i guess it matters, but these were things that i was letting come before one powerful truth...

...a truth of which i desperately needed to be reminded.

"It’s not my duty to die for the
sins I’ve committed
I’m allowed to run free
I’ve been fully acquitted"
-Don Chaffer

freedom. freedom in being in Him. freedom in understanding that the world is already His and that my expectations that i've set for myself, my "superdavid" (thanks Rob Bell) will never be reached. I will always fall short of my expectations for myself (not to mention of His perfection). I will always fall short.

maybe that is when i've submitted...when i simply try to use what i have to love. when i realize that i only have me, and not the "david" that i have envisioned for myself. maybe I've submitted when i stop concerning myself with being like someone or achieving some lofty "spiritual" goal and start living, loving the way i know how... right here, right now. with my head and hands and feet covered in blood.

i'm not sure anymore that submitting happens when i feel sad enough or when i've holed up in my room long enough. I don't think that embracing the guilt and shame over what i deserve makes me a more serious or better Christian (spiritual goal). obviously, this isn't to say that i shouldn't recognize and try to understand what i deserve.

but i'm not sure that i'm called to make much of sin...at least not to the extent that i should make much of Jesus.

The blood of the cross frees us. it is the beginning of something much bigger. a life in which i get to run free and be fully acquitted. a life without fear. a life where i can embrace His love and pass it on to others who desire it just as much as i do.

i needed to be reminded of these things. i'll always need to be reminded of these things.

His grace, love, faithfulness.

have a good one guys
-dave

p.s. the NBA season started this week...


p.s. 2---it still sucks :)


football rools!!!! :)