good morning good morning!

good morning good morning

My thoughts are jumbled and i'm not sure what the point of this blog will be, but i have a little time and I have some stuff to put down.

My schedule looks pretty easy. Somehow i missed my very first class of the semester. I was pretty irresponsible so i don't want to try to say I have some great excuse. I just kind of misread my schedule and then didn't bother checking it until ten minutes before when I THOUGHT the class started. So yeah...i feel really dumb for that.

The two classes that i've actually attended sound like they'll be really cool. It doesn't sound like I'll have too much work which is really exciting. Coming off of last semester, where i was super busy trying to keep up with 4 history courses (and a dumb psych course), i'm really ready to have a semester where i can focus on things other than school. I mean, I'm not here for school anyway right? The fields are ripe for harvest right here on campus and i don't want to miss out on that.

I ran through the whole range of emotions this last week. I was ultra-excited, then freakishly sad, angry at times, lonely at times and calm at other times. After such a violent swing of emotions, i find myself just exhausted from it.

I feel quite dry.

In these times it's really easy for me to get complacent. It's really easy to sit back and wait for the "feeling" to come back so i can be purposeful again. But after I've experienced this at least a few times now in my faith, I find that this is just another time to chase after Him. My prayers can all be laced with the truth that He remains. He never changes and though I can't feel Him, He's always there.

During these times it can become a little difficult to love people. I think it's because i base my actions so many times off of my emotions. I'm still finishing up Mere Christianity and I absolutely loved it when Lewis talked about how sometimes we may not feel like loving someone, but after we try, we come to find that our investment in a person eventually leads to a real love for that person. I totally relate to this. I remember at the beginning of the summer when I was getting ready to work for the cleaning crew. I was surrounded by 12 Indians(not to be confused with Native Americans) whose actions and words did not seem appealing to me. I did not really want to love them. However, I still tried. I started learning about them and spending time with them. I came to found out I really enjoyed their company.

This lesson about real love really hit home for me last night. I was walking back from worship practice and was checking my voicemail on my phone. I got a message from one of my closest friends from the summer---one of the Indians(his name is really long, so we just called him CK for short). He left at the beginning of August to go back to India to study for a semester. He said he was coming back this semester but i hadn't heard from him yet and i couldn't get ahold of him. I almost started crying because i was so excited to hear his voice. After i heard the voicemail i sat there for a second and thought about what it really means to love people. I saw how I was in no mood to get to know this guy 9 months ago.

And now I'm rejoicing when i simply receive a voicemail from him.

A little effort. A little focus on someone other than myself. A little laying down of my pride turned into a truly amazing friendship. I think this is at the heart of what love is. I think too often i make it out to be some blissful state only attainable through marriage. But Jesus totally turns the tables on that one.

He set the example for a different kind of love. It was a lifestyle. It was rooted in humility. It was all about sacrifice and putting others before oneself.

I've been reminded lately that this is where my focus should be when I am with other people. College is an amazing place to try this out because i'm "with" a gagillion people. The phone call from CK really reminded me of what it means to love.

lol....and leave it to one of my favorite authors to drive the point home this morning in my devotional. I'm loving this new devo book.

"The axis of the Christian moral revolution is love, and it is the only sign given by Jesus by which the disciple would be recognized. The danger lurks in our subtle attempts to minimize, rationalize, and justify our moderation in this regard. Turning the other cheek, walking the extra mile, offering no resistance to injury, being reconciled with one's brother, and forgiving seventy times seven times are not arbitrary whims of the Son of Man. He did not preface the Sermon on the Mount with, "It would be nice if..." His "new" commandment structures the new covenant in his blood. So central is the precept of fraternal love that Paul called it the fulfillment of the Law."
-Brennan Manning.

alrighty that's enough randomness for one morning.
have a good one guys :)
-dave