monkeys at the zoo...

I remember the up and down days of high school when I would spend a weekend at some retreat, make a "new" commitment, be so peaceful because i felt like i was restored, and then i would stop caring again. Old habits would return, and i would run after the same stupid things i had the week before. nothing changed. I've kinda felt that way today. Like i was not humbled at all by His love and grace after a time of rejoicing.

Instead i've been on a guilt trip and have tried to make up for not checking my heart by doing things that will please Him....even though i know He wants my heart.

so yeah it hasn't worked very well. Faith without works is dead. Doing good deeds is a very good thing. But if my works are not inspired by a heart broken by the cross and laid open before God, then i'm not sure they are worth much.

this song makes a lot of sense to me. I dunno if it's just me, but i find this guys lyrics to be very encouraging and challenging. i'm glad i am getting into this stuff even if it is old and different.

a very relevant song by my artist of the week:

Will it be different now or the same?
Will I have learned anything?
Or was it just a way to spend a day or two
set aside for thinking thoughts about You?

If that's all it was, I had a good time

But that won't be enough for me
Not this year, not anytime soon
I have to clean house
Gotta make my bed, gotta clear my head
It's getting kind of stuffy in here
smells sort of funky too
like monkeys at the zoo

I have been whoring after things
'Cause I wanna feel safe inside -- That's a big fat lie
No amount of green, gold or silver
Will ever take the place of the peace of God
Spirit come flush the lies out
Spirit come flush the lies out

Will it be different now or the same?
Have I changed at all?
And if you were to dive deep inside my soul
would you find Jesus there
or a gaping hole?
Should I be content with my beautiful "Christian" life?

But that won't be enough for me
Not this year not anytime soon
I have got to clean house
gotta make my bed, gotta clear my head
it's getting kinda stuffy in here
smells sort of funky too
like monkeys at the zoo

I have been whoring after things
Cause i wanna get everything right
that's a big fat lie
No amount of green, gold, silver
the perfect body, another hot toddy,
work for the Lord, fame and power
power and sex
a seat at a table at the Belle Meade Country Club
Here's the rub: nothing will ever take the place of the peace of God
Spirit come flush the lies out...

Will it be different now or the same?
Will I have learned anything?

"Monkeys at the zoo"
-Charlie Peacock



I'll say it once again, i miss you guys. I've needed this break away from everything for a number of reasons, but I am truly looking forward to being and serving in the community that is being built. It will be h'AWESOME.

see ya soon!
have a good one guys
-dave